Relationship jokes
Following your dreams is good... especially since you won’t have to worry about them putting any restraining orders against you.
Why is Stephen Hawking a bad husband?
Because he doesn't stand up for his wife.
Why did the boy kill his girlfriend?
Because he had a crush on her.
I love everyone.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Not your.
Not your who?
Not your mama!
Roses are red, her name is Lily, she bends over, and said "HARDER, DADDY!"
I got breast implants for my wife to squeeze on as she thrusts on my meat while straddled in between my legs.
The best night of my life was when I gave my virginity to my wife, and her last word was when she called me "Mommy" at the top of her lungs before I knocked her up 😍.
Why did your parents abandon you?
Because the first thing you dad said to be was; "GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY WIFE."
"Me lava you sooo much, cutie cake. I know I'm so so so cuteee. Lava you girl... ummmma ummmaaa. I know where you liveee kutty."
When your cousin dies and everybody thinks you're her.
FUCKING MENT
Conor MacGregor to Poirier: "Your wife is your husband!"
(After the fight, or should I say after the fracture.)
Poirier: Really, bitch?
Women are like marshmallows because they're white, squashy, and everyone sticks their stick inside you.
If you hit 9999 orphans and they all tell each other, are the other orphans their parents???
I ear ass your dad's ass and he likes it.
I once cummed on my boyfriend's dick. { puts an eggplant emoji }
I like to watch porn too ;)
Oh, Mom, there is poop in the toilet still.
Mom: Oh, that was me and the dog.
Me: Wait, what????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
My mom is actually a mum! 😱
I'm having sex with your mother. That makes me better than you.
I'm having sex with your mother. That makes me better than you.
*guitar solo*
Fine, then if I can't do Gwen, then I guess it is Tenya and Kenya. #Twin sisters! Tenya and Kenya!