Relationship jokes
When an orphan takes a pic, is it known as a family picture? 📸
When I self-harmed one day, my mother told me that it cut her deep. We both found that very amusing.
I fucked my mom.
Friend 1: I HATE YOU!
Friend 2: *cries* b-but i-i didn't s-say that!!
Friend 3: *writes on paper with pencil cuz is so bored*
Me: *points at pencil lead* NOW NOW NOW THIS HAS *LEAD* TO SOME SERIOUS FRIENDSHIP LOSS! Plz shut up.
All my friends: *groan at horrible pun*
Like if you have a boyfriend, girlfriend, or husband, or wife, or a crush.
Q. What's the best part of living in Alabama?
A. Not having to change your last name when you get married.
Diabetic wives are like Cillit Bang. Squeeze them a bit and bang! The bed is gone.
Have you ever wondered how your teachers would look if they were 20 years younger than they actually are? I bet some of them would be smoking hot. Especially my 25-year-old English teacher. I'd bang her if she were 20 years younger.
The only problem being short and gay is that whenever I try to tell people I'm top in my relationship, they don't believe me because I'm shorter than the person I'm dating, like, WTF?
What does a robot do after a one night stand?
He nuts 'n bolts!
Ya nan!
What's the best thing about a blowjob?
- The silence.
I'm hard right now.
'Cause you're a DICKstraction. ;)
Jack and Jill went up a hill so Jill could lick Jack's candystick, but Jill got a surprise when she saw her boyfriend Rik. He got so angry Jack has no candystick no more. Jill went home with a black eye, and Rik got arrested for cutting Jack's candystick.
"Why don't you want to taco 'bout it?"
"Cause I'm nacho friend anymore."
Why can’t orphans have sex?
'Cause they have no one to call daddy!
My parents raised me as an only child, which really pissed off my sister.
Why is my sister horny? It's because she loves my dick.
F in orphan means family.
Boy: Hey! I love you...
Girl: Eww, you are so ugly.
*boy sent a pic of his dic*
Girl: Beauty doesn't matter in love.