Relationship jokes

Are you Roblox? 'Cuz I wanna play ya all day.

I was lying on the bed the other night and my missus was playing with my cock, trying to get it to go hard. She asked me what's the matter? I said, "I just don't find women without hair very attractive."

Why do orphans love dogs?

Because dogs stay with them.

Knock knock. Who's there? Not your dad.

I just read an article that Texas is number one in the nation for both depression and infidelity in relationships.

It's a sad state of affairs.

John walked into Pat at the barn. He was dancing naked in front of a tractor. John said, "Hey, Pat, what are you doing?"

Pat said, "Well, me and the wife have been having a bit of trouble in bed, so I went to a therapist, and he said I should do something sexy to a tractor (attract her)."

I don’t have another talking stage in me. 🤦🏿‍♂️ Do you squirt, and is your BD dead? 😭

Person 1: Omg, my blind boyfriend cheated on me.

Person 2: What did you expect? Him to see other hoes...

Women say men are trash.

Yet men made the phone, laptops, computer and electrical hardware she uses to say men are trash, never mind the electricity she uses to power those devices...

Me and 1/2 of my friends.

I dated an orphan and then later married him for 7 years until he told me he was an orphan.

I hated getting bullied in school because I could never stand up for myself.

My dick wants to buy you a beer. 🍺

Fuck you and your shitty family!

I am cutie cutie, just like my bro, herishy.

I'm gay because I like men.

Addison, it's Emboy again. I just want to be honest, you sound like a tease! And teases get spanked.

When your mom tells you to stop playing on the computer, you say, "Foot you!"

You: I want my mama.

Me: Soz, you can't even get one.

Bully: Agh, you're ugly!

Me: Said your mom when you were born.