Relationship jokes
Yo momma so fat that it was hard to find the G spot and slip her one at night.
So I stayed at my friend's house for a few days, and I was like, "OMG, why?" So, I am going home because I’m going to my best friend's house.
Friend: Hi.
Me: Do you know how lost their dad is?
Friend: Me?
Me: Damn, no, not you.
Friend: Then who?
Me: The orphan kid.
I guess we're the same.
Why is Beast Boy so good at flying?
Terra hasn't forgiven him.
Q: What do men and math tests have in common?
A: They get cheated on.
Son to mother: "Mom, all the kids in the school are making fun of me because I am still a virgin."
Mother: "Well, start giving them bad grades, and they will stop."
Jack and Jill went up the hill, had some fun, now they have 4 babies.
I wanna date you.
Said mom, dad said no, you are a horrid, f*cking d*ck.
A wife and husband go to a barn. The husband picks up a goat and says, “Look at this pig I have to sleep with every night.”
The wife says, “Honey, that’s a goat.”
The husband replies with, “I was talking to the goat.”
I went on a dating site looking for arsonists.
I found a lot of matches.
What did the drunk woman say to the man after leaving the bar?
"Alcohol, you later!"
Why could the orphan never be gay?
Because he had nobody to call "daddy."
Bully: Hey virgin!
Victim: I'm not a virgin, just ask your sister.
Bully: I don't have a sister, dumbass.
Victim: Just wait nine months.
Dad: Boy, come sit in this hole while I brace the ground.
Boy: I don't want to see Grandpa, he scares me!
I once was playing with my friend and Roblox girlfriend, then one day, they cheated on me. I broke up with her and unfriended him, then I saw my mom and my uncle crying!
Me be like: ;-;
Me and my mom order Chinese food.
My mom grabs the egg roll and starts licking it up and down and sucking on it in front of the Chinese delivery guy. I said, "Why are you doing that?" Then my mom says, "I love him a long time so we don't have to pay for the food."
What did the glove say to his girlfriend?
I glove you!
What's the difference between your dad and the mailman? Nothing.
What are twins’ favorite fruit?
Pairs 🍐.
Something you can say about a restaurant, but not your partner:
"So you’re open 24 hours a day?"