Relationship jokes
Why can't a homeless person be seen around your wife?
Because she'll ask for her cardboard box! Ahahah.
I'm so bored and miserable, that I have sex with my inflatable girlfriend every night.
The best part? She don't talk back.
Women should be seen and not heard.
But how would you control that if she was screaming "NO!!!" in the bedroom?
Once you've had the mother,
Don't tell me you've never been tempted to do the daughter.
What's one thing you can say about your house, but not your girlfriend?
"I wish it were this color, why is it leaking there, I need help trimming the grass I mean bushes, I own it."
I called my guy friend a cock-sucker the other day. He replied with, "Hey, 20 bucks is 20 bucks."
What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.
My guy: I have a Q-Tip.
Me: You can Q my tip.
My guy: Ayo!
Yo mama so ugly when she looked in the mirror, her reflection threw up and ran away.
I told my emo girlfriend, "Do you like the lights?" Oh wait, she ain't got any.
Yo mama so hot that even Sodapop Curtis flirts with her.
Every time my cousin and I, we settle it out with our game, so we play rock paper scissors. 😂🤣🤣
Mate, my wife Susan has kicked me out again, anyone got a lift?
Raju: How about you, Sunil?
Do you know?
Sanju: Sunil is my long distance
is a brother.
Raju: Long brother?
Sanju: Yes, because I live in Ratnagiri and he lives in Nagpur.
For my girlfriend and friends to chat :)
Not a joke.
Any girls looking for a steamy hot man?
Wife: “How do I look?” Husband: “With your eyes.”
My girlfriend broke up with me because I quote Linkin Park too much.
But in the end, it doesn’t even matter.
Yo mama is so ugly that Rick Astley gave her up.
Me when my girlfriend comes home, I check her phone and there are 100 texts from a different guy asking her out, and her text says yes.
Get the whip, you're out!