Relationship jokes
Guy: Hi, how was your day today?
Woman: Good!
Guy: *Well I can’t ask her out cause she’s pregnant*
Guy: How many months pregnant are you?
Woman: What to you mean?!?! Also, I’m not pregnant.
What is the best whey to make friends with an American boy, you bunch?
Friend: You're adopted.
Orphan: At least I was chosen!
Friend: At least I was kept.
I have a secret crush on your momma.
If Will Smith had a revolver and said, "Who fucked my wife?" Chris Rock would say, "You don't have enough bullets, mate."
Your mother.
So I had an idea: you and a friend go bar (pub (whatever you call it)) hopping and propose to said friend in each one so everyone buys you free drinks and you get drunk and have a great time.
Why do orphans not like July 24th??
Because it's Parents Day.
Son: Dad, I'm gay.
Dad: I support you.
Son: I like you.
Dad: Get out and into my room!
I saw a news ad on TV about a dad coming home after getting milk. I said, "I've never seen that one before!"
All of a guy's sons came out gay. He ordered 10 shots in a bar.
The bartender asks, "Do you have anyone in your family who likes women?"
The man said, "My wife does!"
I have 206 bones. When I look at you, I have 207.
What's the difference between you and Frankenstein?
He is not ugly like you; plus, he has a wife.
I bet my friend $5 that he would drown in the lake.
... It was a bittersweet victory.
Two emos are dating, and the most romantic thing they have ever done is slit each other's wrists.
Why can't an orphan eat a bag of chips?
Because the chip was family size.
Todoroki POV: All he can think about is Deku.
Ur mom.
Oops my bad! 😬
I broke up with my boyfriend and stole his wheelchair.
Guess who came crawling back?
Girl: Dad, where are you?
Dad: I went to go get milk.
Girl: But we have milk.
Dad: I know, I just don't love you.