Relationship jokes

Hi Leyla, I have been trying to reach you for a while. Where have you been? I was wondering if you wanted to chat.

What do trans women bring to lesbian relationships?

Something big and warm 🍆.

I hope death is a girl. That way, it'll never come for me.

Girl: Dad, where are you?

Dad: I went to go get milk.

Girl: But we have milk.

Dad: I know, I just don't love you.

What's the difference between you and Frankenstein?

He is not ugly like you; plus, he has a wife.

Two emos are dating, and the most romantic thing they have ever done is slit each other's wrists.

I was in the bedroom slapping your girl harder than Will at the Oscars.

Why do orphans not like July 24th??

Because it's Parents Day.

I bet my friend $5 that he would drown in the lake.

... It was a bittersweet victory.

Son: Dad, I'm gay.

Dad: I support you.

Son: I like you.

Dad: Get out and into my room!

I have 206 bones. When I look at you, I have 207.

Thomas Jefferson’s 80th b-day bash be like:

Jackson: "CALHOUN! YOU’RE CHEATING ON ME - IN BED WITH THE CONSTITUTION??"

I had to go to my friend's house.

I went in her basement and I saw taped mouths that are KIDS in the basement... Is my friend OK???

My Crandall just be smashing more than you ON DA GIRLS, and he was slapping your girl last night harder than WILL at the OSCARS! ;)

I met a gay guy last night.

Man, was he a pain in the ass.

When you're so rich that you can buy anything, you end up getting a cow in your living room. Yeah, anyways, my ex is still in my living room.

Man, my brother has a tight, buttered butthole. The veins in my cock throb when he comes over!

I broke up with my boyfriend and stole his wheelchair.

Guess who came crawling back?

So I had an idea: you and a friend go bar (pub (whatever you call it)) hopping and propose to said friend in each one so everyone buys you free drinks and you get drunk and have a great time.

What do you call a mom that is yours?

Your mom!