Relationship jokes

So I had an idea: you and a friend go bar (pub (whatever you call it)) hopping and propose to said friend in each one so everyone buys you free drinks and you get drunk and have a great time.

I broke up with my boyfriend and stole his wheelchair.

Guess who came crawling back?

Girl: Dad, where are you?

Dad: I went to go get milk.

Girl: But we have milk.

Dad: I know, I just don't love you.

Why do orphans not like July 24th??

Because it's Parents Day.

"Doin' your mom, doin', doin' your mom."

Every single person on the plane died except for 2. How is that possible?

It said all the single people died; the 2 were a couple. That's how it was possible.

"Hi, honey, how do you want buns?"

What are twins’ favorite fruit?

Pairs 🍐.

I was doin' your mom, yes yours!

I didn’t wanna tell you, but I had to write this song, cause I’m in your house every night doin' your mom.

I don't have any friends.

If you like this, I can be your friend :)

What do you call a mom that is yours?

Your mom!

Hi Mom, how are you doing?

A girl walks up to her blind friend who she had not seen in a while and says: "Long time no see!"

What's the difference between your dad and the mailman? Nothing.

Why is my sister so annoying? Because put your own thing in.

My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair and guess who came crawling back!

Yo mama so fat, that’s why people don’t want to marry her, except for fat guys.

If an orphan took a photo, what would it be considered?

Not a family photo.

What do you and orphans have in common?

Nobody loves you.