Relationship jokes
Your mama is so ugly! It took your dad 15 years to return from getting milk.
Roses are red, clovers are green.
I love your legs and what's in between. LOL
What's the similarity between an orphan and my dick?
They both will die alone.
Why don't emo girls date emo boys? Cause they've already got a pussy.
Kid 1: I like you! Do you like me?
Kid 2: No. You never asked if I love you!
Kid 1: Aw, do you love me?
Kid 2: No!
ky you def like her
The other day my wife told me to pass her her lipstick, but I accidently passed her a glue stick... she still isn't talking to me.
Why did the orphan take a selfie?
Because he wanted a family portrait.
What did the orphan say to its parents?
"Hey, Mom and Dad—oh wait, you're not my parents. I don't have none. Will you adopt me, please?"
They people: "No."
Roses are red, violets are blue, I'll be the dolphin, you can be the jellyfish.
Me: Pretend your name is “puberty.”
Friend: Ok?
Me: I'mma hit puberty!
*hits my friend*
What do orphans and broken up couples have in common?
They can't see each other anymore.
When your mum sold you on eBay for £2 pound for girls stripper.
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I saw your mom beat you.
I asked my wife to embrace her mistakes.
She gave me a hug.
"Hey, today was great!"
"What happened?"
"I ran into my ex today."
"What's so great about that?"
"I was in my car!"
What can you tell a woman with two black eyes?
Nothing that you haven't told her twice already.
Your wife dumped you because you are so poor and you are so ugly. You also live under a rock and have no money. You got dumped so hard you can't remember you got dumped.
I saw your mom at work the other night. She was talking about how good she was doing.
Hands down, best $20 blowjob ever.
Bully: Ha, guess what?
Nerd: What?
Bully: You are adopted.
Nerd: At least I was wanted!
Are you a professor? I have a theory about sex that I need to test on someone.