Relationship jokes

My brother when he sees a girl.

Me to an orphan: If you had a penny for everyone who loved you, I don't think you'd have any.

The orphan: But why?

Me: Because if someone loved you, they wouldn't have thrown you out.

Babe, I'm breaking up with you.

Why? I'm turning 18 tomorrow.

Official orgasm donor.

Your mom and your dad.

Helen Keller once dated a brick wall.

I want your cock in my rock bottom.

My family is lucky I was born so smart. Every time my Dad is struggling at work, he always turns to me when he needs to get ahead.

What's the difference between a prisoner and an orphan?

One is loved.

My friend said to me that I am gay. My response? I’m as straight as that pole that your mum danced on last night.

I told my friends that are gay that my hairline's straighter than he will ever be.

Girls' dreams: OMG, my crush kissed me!

Boys' dreams: I just got a dub, bro!

Why can't orphans be gay?

'Cause they can't call anyone "Daddy."

My girlfriend wanted a marriage just like a fairy tale. Fair enough. I gave her a loaf of bread and left her in the forest with a rabid wolf.

How do lesbians have sex? It’s too complicated. I’d have to show you.

The orphan also had to cry because the cartels called him "homie."

Why are orphan weddings so entertaining?

They get to walk themselves down the aisle.

I punched my mom for no freaking reason.

How is sex like air?

It’s not a big deal unless you aren’t getting any.

A father came to his daughter's 18th birthday. He finally came.