Relationship jokes

What did the cannibal do after he dumped his wife?

He wiped.

School Rizz:

You are my exam. I am always thinking about you but never making a move.

Why did the orphan take a selfie?

Because he wanted a family portrait.

Why doesn’t my bully get a dad joke? Oh, ya, ummm...

All the people disliking these jokes are definitely orphans.

I had to go to the doctor for a prostate exam. When he stuck it in, I started to squirm, so he held onto my shoulder.

I thought it was going well, until he grabbed my other shoulder as well.

I rate you 9 out of 10, because I'm the 1 you need.

Yo, everyone! My sis is pregnant, and I’m gonna be a dad!

I just want to say this...

You have NO maidens, (Explosion) No homies, (ExPlOsIoN) And no—please don’t say it! Rizz 😎 (EXPLOSION)

Q: What is a lesbian's version of a cock block?

A: A beaver dam.

Tell the person next to you to spell "me." When they do, say, "You forgot the D." They should respond with, "There is no D in ME." You say, "Not yet." If this does not go as planned, well, then you are fucked for life.

Hey Siri, where is my dad?

Your dad is in a strip club in Las Vegas.

HAH, jokes on you! My dad’s in the kitchen!

Your mom’s husband is in the kitchen, your dad is in a strip club in Las Vegas.

...WhAT-

Which one would be better to fuck, a fat bitch or a skinny bitch?

My mom gave my friend a blow job for good luck on his job interview, then my mom gave my other friend a blow job for his interview, and they both got the job. Now who needs good luck? Just ask my mom. My mom is a good luck charm.

Wife, I look fat, can you compliment me?

Blind husband says, "You have perfect eyesight!"

Man, I don’t need Viagra when I see Mara!

They say if Viagra lasts more than four hours, call the doctor? I’m just wondering, it’s been six hours and I’m still hard, should I call the doctor or hop on another woman?

What’s the best part of fucking Noor’s vulva (btw Noor is black)? If my dick is right beside Mara’s vulva (btw Mara’s white and so am I).

Did you know your dad was a magician? He disappeared the second he saw your ugly ass face!

The other day my wife told me to pass her her lipstick, but I accidently passed her a glue stick... she still isn't talking to me.