So I heard Kenny's mom got moved to a nursing home.
He'll probably leave her alone now.
He doesn't eat vegetables.
How is a woman like a condom?
Both spend more time in your wallet than on your dick.
There’s no I in sex but there’s a U in cum
When your friend gets involved with someone it affects the friendship when ever a friend of mine has a new girlfriend ,we should say I looked like the person you used to know but I've been modified to survive in this relationship if we have an argument and she's there I might disagree with you I'd rather countinue to see her naked.
What is a threesome with 3 guys?
Gay sex and a witness.
My girlfriend passed away recently.
at the funeral everyone was shocked about it
Still even when dead she is the best shag I've ever known
One day a guy named Carson is called a jerk and he says "I went to a party with my girlfriend and this random guy walks up to us and says can I borrow your girlfriend for a 30 minutes I say yes and he takes her up stairs. It was not only 30 minutes but a hour. When she came back down she was out of breath so I knew it was a pretty intense conversation.this happens about 3 more times that night. But as I was saying only a nice guy would let his girlfriend make friends with other guys 😊😇
The son margarine shows his father his test that he failed. Father: son you can do butter
Rey: Join me, Ben, you don't have to be alone anymore, join me.
Ben: But Rey, I've always been solo.
Highest level of insult by a girl by seeing a guy's dick: I can shit bigger logs than that thing of your's 🤣
Last time i talked to my girlfriend, she was yelling at me to put the hammer down.
I asked my girlfriend if she was a smoke alarm she said “ is it because I warned him when hottness came” I said “ no, you don’t shut up
I like my lovers like I like my whiskey, 12 years old and mixed up with coke.
My wife is a optimist our first night together she handed me a magnum xl condom. I didn’t know what to do so I made her a balloon animal 🎈 🦒
A penis has a sad life.
His hair is a mess.
His family is nuts.
His neighbor is an asshole.
His best friend is a pussy.
And his owner beats him.
If I were a party, then anxiety must be the cousin depression felt obligated to bring to the party, and insomnia the little annoying sibling.
My girlfriend told me to stop playing Pokemon as it was childish.
I started thrashing about and roared, “You don’t have enough badges to control me!”
My girlfriend told me she was leaving me because I keep pretending to be a Transformer. I said, "No, wait! I can change."
A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan (one), you've seen Ahmal (them all)."
I caught my girlfriend cheating on me, with our dad.
