Relationship jokes
I love telling dad jokes. He always laughs.
Roses are red, violets are fine, you'll be the 6 and I'll be the 9.
A man's daughter comes home from school and asks her dad if she can borrow the car.
The father replies, "No, it's too late at night."
The daughter says, "C'mon, Dad. I'll do anything."
The dad says, "OK, suck my dick."
The daughter says, "No, that's disgusting."
The dad says, "You want the car. You said you'll do anything."
The daughter agrees. Just as she is about to put her father's dick into her mouth, she stops and says, "Eww, Dad, your dick smells like shit."
The dad replies, "Yeah, well, your brother borrowed the car about an hour ago."
If you buy a Renault Megane, all your girls will be gone.
My guy: I have a Q-Tip.
Me: You can Q my tip.
My guy: Ayo!
What’s the difference between milk and the air?
At least the air will always be there for me.
What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.
Are you a rope? Cause I'm tryna put you around my neck 😏
I want a bigger couch.
Why? You're going to be in the kitchen most of the time anyway.
Mia: I'm pregnant again, Paul. I can't wait for you to come home.
Paul: I got a tree to hit on the way.
Is that a mirror in your pocket?
'Cause I can see myself in your pants.
Roses are red, violets are blue, If I had a gun, I'd shoot you.
Girls: Boys are like games, they're meant to get played.
Boys: Girls are like stones, the flat ones get skipped.
Me when people ask how old my girlfriends are:
"There's 2, there're 4, there're 6, there're 8."
Guy: Whose place? Mine or yours?
Girl: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
What is the difference between a carpet muncher and a female prostitute?
If you want a female prostitute to be a bitch, you have to give her money first.
What is the difference between a lesbian and a female prostitute?
If you want a female prostitute to be a bitch, you have to give her money first.
If two feminazis are carpet munchers, which one in the lesbian relationship cooks?
They both don't because both of the carpet munchers are too busy eating each other's pussy 😋 🤪 😌 😏 😜 👍 👍 👌 👌 👏 🏆 🥇 💭 🤔 😮 😁 😊 😃 😄 👌 😍 🥰 ☺️
In a lesbian relationship, which feminazi cooks?
None, both carpet munchers eat out.
Four men were asked if they could have something with their cousin for €500.
The first replied: "For 500€? Of course!"
The second said: "I'd do it for free!"
The third replied: "I would even give her 200€!"
The fourth replied: "With my ex? Never!"