Relationship jokes
Celebrating Mother's Day is confusing, says my cousin.
I asked my sister to say something.
She said, "No."
That's what I like to hear.
My friend says, "You should try Oreos with water."
Me: No, because my dad actually came back with the milf.
Your so broke your mom can't afford your daddy.
1, 2 you built like a dork.
3, 4 you got no girl, 4, 5 you're shorter than a remote.
Gays: I like men.
Straight: I like women.
Bisexual: A hole is a hole.
I was walking with my black best friend, and he was meeting my parents, and after I got there, they said, "Who's this?" I said, "Well, I own him."
I love telling dad jokes. He always laughs.
Roses are red, violets are fine, you'll be the 6 and I'll be the 9.
A man's daughter comes home from school and asks her dad if she can borrow the car.
The father replies, "No, it's too late at night."
The daughter says, "C'mon, Dad. I'll do anything."
The dad says, "OK, suck my dick."
The daughter says, "No, that's disgusting."
The dad says, "You want the car. You said you'll do anything."
The daughter agrees. Just as she is about to put her father's dick into her mouth, she stops and says, "Eww, Dad, your dick smells like shit."
The dad replies, "Yeah, well, your brother borrowed the car about an hour ago."
If you buy a Renault Megane, all your girls will be gone.
My guy: I have a Q-Tip.
Me: You can Q my tip.
My guy: Ayo!
What’s the difference between milk and the air?
At least the air will always be there for me.
What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.
Are you a rope? Cause I'm tryna put you around my neck 😏
I want a bigger couch.
Why? You're going to be in the kitchen most of the time anyway.
Mia: I'm pregnant again, Paul. I can't wait for you to come home.
Paul: I got a tree to hit on the way.
Is that a mirror in your pocket?
'Cause I can see myself in your pants.
Roses are red, violets are blue, If I had a gun, I'd shoot you.
Girls: Boys are like games, they're meant to get played.
Boys: Girls are like stones, the flat ones get skipped.