Yo mama is so fat your dad could never get away.
Bully: Shut up, motherfucker!
Me: Well, stop talking to me and I won't have to keep fucking your mother.
My wife told me she’ll slam my head into the keyboard if I don’t get off the computer.
I’m not too worried—I think she’s jokingdkdkslalkdlkfjslfjslksdlkfjuahehwhgwdklaljdf.
I have a stepladder because my real ladder left when I was just a kid.
Oh wait, I'm thinking of...
Once my girlfriend asked me to give her lipstick, and I accidentally gave her the glue stick.
She won't talk to me anymore.
Dr. Seuss dark jokes.
Hey there little mister, I'm dating your sister!
What holiday can an orphan not celebrate?
Mother's Day and Father's Day.
My ex-boyfriend threatened to kill me because I was suicidal.
I wanted to tell him, "Well, can we get what we both want?" I was already planning on dying anyway.
A mother and son were in the backyard, and the son finished building a shed. The mother says, "You're the best husband ever."
I went on a dating site looking for arsonists.
I found a lot of matches.
People love you.
Don't die.
Can we have sex, because if we don't, I can't like you, big, thick booty!
So let's have sex in bed, you sexy woman, or behind a tree, because shoving my dick in your pussy is a very nice feeling while sucking your ass.
You know you have weird Indian parents when you can hear them canilingus each other.
Roses are red. Lemons are sour. Open your legs, so I can devour.
My girlfriend broke up with me because I quote Linkin Park too much.
But in the end, it doesn’t even matter.
Wife: “How do I look?” Husband: “With your eyes.”
What did the cannibal do after he dumped his wife?
He wiped.
School Rizz:
You are my exam. I am always thinking about you but never making a move.
Why doesn’t my bully get a dad joke? Oh, ya, ummm...
All the people disliking these jokes are definitely orphans.
