Its this girl named deaf waht a weird name but i know that cause i was ear hustling. But anyway evertime i call her she doesn't answer i wanna clap some cheeks tonight how could she hate me when she dont no me
Bf:what do you think about our love?
Gf:count the stars in the sky
Bf:aww its infinity
Gf:nope just a waste of time
I'd tell you a joke about my boyfriends dick, but It's a private joke.
What instrument do people like to listen to while having sex?
A SEX-aphone.
My ex died today. I also lost my job as a butcher
i hate my wife. * cue laugh*
Throw a plate.. It’s broken right?.. Say “sorry” to it.. Did it fix back?.. No..that’s the Same thing you did to me:)
Depression hits harder than my dad.
The moment when she tells you: "I'm a virgin. Be gentle!" And you tell her, "Don't worry, I used to work with kids."
Man to woman: Would you sleep with me for one million dollars? Woman: Sure. Man: How about for ten dollars? Woman: What do you think I am? Man: We’ve already established what you are. All we’re doing is negotiating price.
What is the difference between you're girlfriend and you're sister
There both sweet home Alabama
I'm in jail for 5 minutes and I already got fucked 15 times. You don't have any idea how much I hate playing Monopoly with my dad.
Wife: Honey! Do you like tea? Husband : No, I like after "T"! .............. It means: the letter "U" : you!
So, Little Johnny comes home from school knowing damn well he messed up his math test. His mother and father get home and he tells them, "Mom, I failed my math test." His mother aggressively says, "Get the belt!" Johnny says, "Why?" His mother says, "I'm gonna spank you for failing!" Johnny says, "So just like daddy?" His father turns red knowing what they did last night.
I was talking to my friend, and he said, "I lost my virginity to a girl, and then she stopped coming to school." And I said, "Probably because she was fired."
What's the difference between a phone and a girl? You can turn it off whenever you want.
Wife is texting husband- Honey if I give you 300 dollars will you stop being blind? husband-seilghsielguG Wife- seriously David Husband-fuweyadb
my sister was hitting on my boyfriend im 11 shes 9 she said go f.ck ur self so i said : "ok thanks for the idea"
one day my ex best friend lied about his computer died when he left the call and watched youtube
I told my mom that I have a crush. She replied with: "So you like girls?" I said: "Uhm no no no." BUT I'm lesbian. Someone help, how do I tell her without her hitting me with a belt?
