Relationship jokes
My mom's name is Angel, and she is nothing like one!
Especially in bed...
What do you call a cow with three legs?
My ex.
Why did Stephen Hawking's wife get annoyed with him?
He had an affair with Alexa.
You want to hear some marriage jokes?
Don't worry, it's just a couple.
A girl walks up to her friend with sunglasses she missed very much.
She told her, "Hey, long time no see."
Why did Shawn suddenly fly to Mount Everest, leaving behind friends, family, and food?
Someone told him that "Shelby"'s coming 'round the mountain.
I call my girlfriend .05 because she's a bag I blow into when I've had a few drinks.
Ur mom, ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
I have no friends :'(
The granddaughter wanted to see granny. She killed herself.
"Are you taco to me? I nacho friend."
Miss Stephen likes sex like she likes kids.
On a desk in pure isolation.
Why did Miss Stephen get divorced? She didn't float, too.
Diabetic wives are like Cillit Bang. Squeeze them a bit and bang! The bed is gone.
Cindy goes up to her dad and says: "Daddy, can I have $100 for a new dress?"
Her dad almost gags and says: "$100! You're only 12, what do you want with such an expensive dress?"
Cindy says: "Well daddy, I'll look really pretty in it and I promise to look after it ..."
Dad gives in and says: "OK, give me a head-job then".
He flops it out and Cindy just get the end in her mouth and goes: "Eeee-yooo - that taste's like shit!"
Dad goes: "Well, your brother wanted to borrow the car this afternoon ..."
I was out for dinner with my 19 year old girlfriend. I, being 42, had many people shouting at me, scolding me, calling me a creep. It really ruined our 10th anniversary.
Son: Mom, I did the test and I have cancer!
Mom: YOU HAVE CANCER?!
Son: Mom, as my zodiac symbol...
Mom:....
One day Johnae said, "What do you call a family outing?"
"Incest."
Low key Johnae fucks Kirby and Peach.
Women are like grenades: you pull the ring and BOOM, the house is gone!
Fishing is like sex: when it is great, it is great; when it is not so great, it is still great!
God made Adam and Eve.
Satan made Adam and Steve.