How do you suck a dick?
Stick it down your throat like Nicholas does with Dennis.
What do you call Holly and Elenji?
A couple.
What did Goodlife Fitness say to LA Fitness? "I guess it's just not 'working out'!"
Your mom.
Hi, Dad.
After all these walkers, you still walk over me.
My friend texted me and asked me, "Hey. What's your favorite emoji?"
I said, "😬😬😬😬😬😬😬"
She said, "Why?"
I said, "'Cause it's your twin."
I like wine how I like my woman.
4 year old locked in a basement.
Wife: "How would you describe me?"
Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK."
Wife: "What does that mean?"
Husband: "Adorable (A), beautiful (B), cute (C), delightful (D), elegant (E), fashionable (F), gorgeous (G), and hot (H)."
Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?"
Husband: "I'm just kidding!"
What do you call a gay friend?
Miguel Del Rosario Domingo.
My sex life.
Are you a lightbulb, cuz you brighten up my day?
Two brothers were arguing. One went: "You're an idiot!"
The other went: "Your brother's a mother!"
He replied: "Yeah, I know. Thanks for agreeing with me."
My man is a pussy cunt that sucks my dick.
Joke's on him, he just asked me for bobs and vegana.
What's the best part about plowing your cousin?
- It makes your sister jealous.
When your husband can’t afford a punching bag, he uses his wife.
What did the melon say to the avocado when he proposed?
Can't elope.
What's the difference between a potted plant and your wife?
The first is easier to bury.
I once had a trash can as a girlfriend.
I was ready to break up with her, but all she had to say was, "Please don't dump me!" Then I said, "Sorry, I'm ready to take out the trash."
Cuddle with you.🙂
