Relationship jokes
What's Stephen Hawking's wife called? Wendy.
My friends.
John took a bath with bubbles.
Bubbles was a man.
How did number 1 kindly make number 2?
I got my ass kicked, let's be friends?
How did number 1 kindly make number 2?
I got my was kicked, let's be friends?
What did Mario say when he broke up with Princess Peach?
It's not you, it's a-me, Mario!
I fucc mi brother.
A man was having a dream. He dreamt about a mystical creature that was commonly known as the god of toast.
When the man woke up, he turned to tell his wife about the dream. When he delivers the "toast god" punchline, his wife shrugged as she faced the opposite direction to the man.
The man turned around also and started sobbing as he realised his marriage is in shambles.
Who do you call in times of a marriage crisis?
A prostitute, because your wife fucking sucks.
Why won't cannibals eat divorced women?
Just too bitter.
I sucked a dick.
My girlfriend broke up with me because of my pasta fetish.
I'm feeling cannelloni right now.
My friend is gay lol. I'm a spagetie fucc, lemme smash, Becky!
My wife told me I was immature. I just told her to get out of my pillow fort.
Why did Sally not save the mountain climber?
Because it was her dad.
Yo mama!
What do you call it when a person with Down syndrome gets friendzoned?
Chromozoned.
My son said, "What rhymes with orange?"
I said, "No, it doesn't!"
A man comes home and finds his wife in bed with another guy. "What's going on here!?" he exclaims.
The wife replies, "See, I told you he was stupid."
Why did the man walk into a bar?
Because he just broke up and he needs alcohol, you dummy!