Relationship

Relationship jokes

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I was arrested for eating too much crack on accident. How?

My sister came into my room shoving her ass in my face.

The Man: "Sonny, why do you come to get some milk every day?"

The Son: "Because milk is important."

The Man: "Why don't you ever come with your mom?"

The Boy: "Who?"

The Man: "Your mom?"

The Boy: "I don't have a mom."

The Man: "I'm sorry for your loss."

The boy stared for a moment when two men came out of the vehicle and picked up the boy.

What's the most between my uncle and aunt?

My aunt waited until I was 14 to come on my face.

What's the difference between a boomerang and my dad?

My dad came back!

What's the difference between my phone and my sister?

I actually give a damn if my phone dies.

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    • Did you hear about the cannibal that came home late?

    His wife gave him the cold shoulder.

    A boy walks up to a girl and says, "I would tell you a joke about my dick, but it's too long." Then the girl says, "Yeah, I would tell you a joke about my pussy, but you'll never get it."

    A doctor is at a bar one night and notices a young lady at the counter. He approaches her and says, "Hello there miss, pardon my intrusion, but I was curious to know, if someone were to pay you a million dollars to sleep with them, would you?"

    The young lady smiles and says, "That's a lot of money, of course, I would."

    The doctor smiles and says, "That's interesting, but what if someone were to pay you 5 dollars to sleep with them, would you?"

    The young lady says, "What, are you joking? That's no money at all. Of course, I wouldn't. What do you think I am?"

    The Doctor smiles again and says, "We already established what you are, now we're trying to establish a price."

    So I was sitting at a bar, right? That fucking waitress came again, and guess what? She brought the wrong drinks again. So I send her away to get the correct drinks. And she came back again, with the wrong drinks!! Obviously, she was retarded. Anyways that's the story about how I met your mother.

  • 0

    • This boy heard from a friend that if you tell an adult, "I know the whole truth," they will be all weird. So he went home and told his mom, "I know the whole truth," and she gave him $20 and said to keep quiet.

    Pleased, when his dad got home, he said, "I know the whole truth," and his dad gave him $40 and said, "Don't tell Mom." Really pleased, he met the mailman the next day and said, "I know the whole truth." Then the mailman got down on his knee, opened his arms, and said, "Come to daddy."