Relationship jokes

What does an imouto ride?

Onii-san.

What are twins’ favorite fruit?

Pairs 🍐.

I'm hard right now.

'Cause you're a DICKstraction. ;)

What can you build with people? A boat!

"Hi, honey, how do you want buns?"

Hey, What do you want? We broke up like 5 days ago, leave me alone. Ok, first wanna do some things? What kind of things? Illegal things. Like what? Knock you off and hide your body. 🤡🤡🗡

Knock knock.

Who is there?

Mother.

Mother who?

Fuck off bichon, I'm your mother!

What did Ron put in his diary?

I "Her-mio-ne" after I banged her last night.

What did one dog say to another dog? I love you.

I started beating my washing machine because it wasn't working, my wife started crying.

Two people just met. One said, “We should do some bonding.” The other nodded and said back, “Titanic.” The first just looked confused so the second one just said, “Sorry, thought that would be a good icebreaker.”

Why doesn't Helen Keller's boyfriend like having sex with her?

'Cause she just lies there like she's dead.

My mom told me that she got a new job & I don't have to leave the house.

Then my mom told all my customers are the men that live in our neighborhood.

Then I ask what is your job call. My mom said job hand, then I said job and or is hand job.

My mom said yeah that it. My mom said I'm good at my job that why all the males are always knocking at the door.

Why can't all guys be more like Kenny? He doesn't get all upset when his mom isn't in the mood.

I wanted to have sex, but I share a room with my brother, so we made a code. "Tomato" for faster, and "cheese" for more, and I shouted, "Tomato, tomato, cheese, cheese." My brother said, "Stop making sandwiches, you're getting mayo on my bed!"

Knock knock, Who's there? Dad. You came back?

What is the difference between your girlfriend and a walrus?

One is hairy and smells like fish, and the other is a walrus. You're welcome.

Kenny is living with his girlfriend now.

He just moved back in with his mom.

Have you ever heard of Jane Doe? Well, her husband's name is Dill, so I guess that makes him a dildo!

FRIEND: Hey, want to come to my house?

LONELY ORPHAN/TRUMP: Want to come to my orphange?

FRIEND: Dude, I'm blocking you!

LONELY ORPHAN: :(