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Relationship

Relationship jokes

Doctor: I’m going to have to turn you away.

Orphan: But why?

Doctor: Because I’m a family doctor.

So I had a friend who was an orphan, and he said, "How's your girlfriend?" I said, "I don't have one." He said, "I know, just reminding you." I then said, "Hey, how's your parents?" I never saw him after that.

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    • Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana.

    Jack got high, touched Jill's thigh, and said, "I know you wanna."

    But silly Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a kid.

    When you tell your mom that she is bad at jokes, then she tells you, "Well, I made you!"

    Today a girl asked me how big my dick is, so I asked how big her pussy is, and she said, "Come over to my house and find out!"

    When your wife takes 30 minutes to get ready.

    Me: Takes five minutes.

    Me: Hun, you done yet?

    Why are women like hurricanes?

    They come in nasty and wet, then leave with your house and car.

  • 0

    • Every woman will die in five seconds.

    Mother: Dies.

    Sister: Dies.

    Girlfriend: Lives.

    You: 🤬

    How do you recycle a condom? Turn it inside out and shake the f *ck out of it!

    What does having sex with a woman and cooking an egg in a skillet have in common?

    Both end with a loud annoying sound and a gooey mess to clean the shit up.

    Boy: Wanna hear about my dick? Never mind, it's too short.

    Girl: Wanna hear about my pussy? Fuck no, you won't get it.

    A redhead tells her blonde stepsister, "I slept with a Puerto Rican!"

    Then the blonde replies, "OMG, you dirty little slut! How many is a Puerto Rican?"