Relationship jokes
Why can't orphans have sex?
Because they have no one to call "daddy."
My girlfriend broke up with me because she caught me eating a banana with my butt........
IMAGINE!
Yo mama so stupid, she tried to climb Mt. Dew.
My girlfriend's dog died, so I got her a new one in replacement, and she went off on me and yelled,
"What am I supposed to do with 2 dead dogs in my house?!"
When somebody says they're depressed (by over-romanticizing their so-called problems) but can't be by your side when you are at your lowest.
Then you know they're faking depression. π
If you know it, you know it.
A lot of things have changed since I got my girlfriend pregnant.
My name, my address, and my phone number.
Why canβt an orphan be gay?
Because they have no one to call βdaddy.β
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Your mom." "Your mom who?" "It's not your mom, it's my mom!"
People tell me to be nice to orphans, so I say, "What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?"
A brother and a sister always kept fighting. One day the brother said, "You're adopted!"
Then the sister replies, "At least they wanted me!"
The brother yells back, "Well, at first, when they didn't know you'd turn out like this."
Jack and Jill went up a hill to smoke some mairawanah.
Jack got high and grabbed her thigh and said, "I know you wanna," but dumb-ass Jill forgot her pills, and now they have 12 kids.
Why can't orphans have a girlfriend?
They have no one to call "daddy."
Me and the boys are cool.
Why was it wrong to throw my Chinese friend down the stairs?
I have a friend who doesn't have a dad.
He says: "You're useless, go to hell!"
Me: "Wait, why do you want me to join your dad?"
What do you call it when an orphan takes a photo?
A family photo.
Knock knock. Who's there? Not your dad.
I walk in on my mum and she's in the middle of pulling off my dad's boxers. I said, "Mum, you really spoil those dogs!"
I walk in from work to find my wife dead on the sofa.
As I unzip for one last ride, she says, "BOO!" What kind of sick fuck does that?
I come in from work to see my wife dead on the sofa. As I unzip for one last ride, she says, "BOO!" What kind of a dick fuck does that!