It's gonna take a step stool to get a blow job.
There are 2 dads and 2 sons. They all caught a fish.
Why did they only come home with 3 fish?
(Answer)
There were a grand-dad, dad, and son.
If you don't get it, then it means grand father is the dad to the dad (1 dad). Dad is the dad for the son and a son for the grandfather. Get it?
Imagine not having parents. Lol.
din mamma
Granny says don't worry, the cries of pain are only my ex-husband's.
My ex died today.
I also lost my job as a butcher.
The teacher once said to some students, "I was an orphan before your principal hired me."
The students said, "Oof, that is sad."
The teacher tried to ignore them and take attendance. She said, "Is anyone missing?"
The students said, "Your parents."
The teacher got offended and later that day quit her job.
I hate my wife.
*cue laugh*
My wife told me to be more in touch with my feminine side, so I crashed the car.
Throw a plate.
It’s broken, right?
Say “sorry” to it.
Did it fix back?
No... that’s the same thing you did to me :)
Depression hits harder than my dad.
The moment when she tells you: "I'm a virgin. Be gentle!" And you tell her, "Don't worry, I used to work with kids."
Why did the orphan say, "Help?" He needed his brother.
How do you save your wife from drowning?
Take your foot off her neck.
I have a girlfriend with a big dick.
Boy: "Mister, can I get candy?"
Mister: No, you shit head.
Boy: Why? :(
Mister: Because I'm not your dad.
So funny hahaha this is why I don't have friends :(
Why can't orphans have sex?
Because they have no one to call "daddy."
My son said that bully needs a pounding, then I say, "Yeah, right, that is what I said and did to your mother." My son opens his mouth and freezes. I guess he knew what I was talking about.
I told my therapist you are too fat and ugly to date grown men. Then she asked me, "You wanna give a judgemental reaction about that?" I said, "Okay, you smell rat pee on somebody's cock."
