Relationship jokes

My mom said, "Take out the trash," but I couldn't find you.

Don't take my posts seriously, take them like your ex took you—as a joke.

Hi guys, jokes for sister.

So I was listening to a song about "I hate you, are annoying, sister. I'm small and I'm smart," and when I showed it to her, she killed me, and later I was dancing and crying.

Why can't orphans be gay?

Because they don't have someone to call daddy.

Why do orphans love tennis?

Because it is the only place they can get love.

Why do orphans not like jokes?

Because they hate your "mom" and "dad" joke because they miss their parents. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Fatherless jokes.

What is the difference between a woman and my fridge?

Only one moans when I put my meat in it.

"You’re the milk to my cookies."

What’s the difference between Geico and a wife?

Geico saves you more.

When your gf tells you to treat her like a queen,

and then you remember you’re French.

Can't have a smoke with my girl after sex, she's asthmatic.

Plus, she's too young to smoke.

A boy walks up to a girl and says, "I would tell you a joke about my dick, but it’s too long."

Then the girl says, "Yeah, I would tell you a joke about my pussy, but you’ll never get it."

Why is Johnson’s baby shampoo the best lubricant for anal sex?

- No more tears.

What do you do if a woman is choking? Pull out a few inches.

My elderly relatives like to tease me at weddings, saying, "You'll be next!"..

They soon stopped though, when I started to do the same to them at funerals.

What do both a hooker and a customer have in common? They come onto each other.

What’s the best thing about a blowjob?

The silence.

Say, "Hey, you're pretty." Then she'll say, "OMG, thank you so much," or something cringe. Then you say, "Pretty f***ing ugly, aha, gottie!"

What’s the difference between oral sex and anal sex?

Oral sex will make your whole day. Anal sex will make your hole weak.