Relationship jokes
Moto Moto, stop giving the baby your d*ck!
What's a native chick say after sex?
"Get off me, Dad, you're crushing my smokes!"
The Golden State? More like your mum's state...
Timmy: Stupid motherfucker.
Jimmy: Wow, do you kiss your mother with that mouth?
Timmy: *starts crying*
Jimmy: Ah fuck, I did it again.
When you meet your gf at the family reunion.
A limbless man sat on the side of a lake every day. He had no hands or legs.
One day he was crying when a woman was walking by and saw that he was upset, so she asked if he was okay. He replied, "No."
The woman said, "Well, what's wrong?"
The limbless man said, "I've never been hugged by anyone ever."
So the woman, out of kindness, hugged the man. "Are you okay now?" she asked.
"No," the man replied. So again the woman asked him what was wrong. He answered, "I've never been kissed before."
The woman eagerly gave him a peck on the lips and asked, "Are you okay now?"
The man shook his head sadly. The woman asked him what was wrong for the third time. The man said, "I've never been fucked."
The woman looked at him, picks him up, throws him in the lake, and says, "Now you are!"
Four gay guys are sitting in a Jacuzzi when all of a sudden, a condom starts floating. One of the gay guys turns around and asks, "Okay, who farted?"
Why are friends a lot like snow?
If you pee on them, they disappear.
My wife left a note on the fridge that said, “This isn’t working.”
I’m not sure what she’s talking about. I opened the fridge door, and it’s working fine!
Your sister is so stupid, she only thinks an onion will make people cry.
So I threw a coconut at her.
You and your sister always get into a fight and she says, "I don't care." Then you say right away, "About you!"
I look at an orphanage, then hug my mum. He just looks sad and crude because he couldn’t find his mum.
I caught the flowers at a wedding--now married to a hot guy. But then I caught an STD at a funeral, I kinda nervo.........
Why do people play soccer?
Because people need to kick harder to win a parent.
Why can't orphans be gay? They got no one to call "daddy."
She's a 10, but she doesn't like sex.
Why do orphans play tennis?
Because it's the only love they get.
Why did the orphan cheat on his girlfriend with a guy?
Because he wanted someone to call "Mommy" and "Daddy."
Here is a good joke: asking for consent before sex.
"Vladymoron Pootin and Drunkard Chump sittin' in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G."