Relationship jokes
STORY OF 2 PEOPLE NOT ME:
Girlfriend: What would you do if I won the lottery?
Boyfriend: I would take half and leave you.
Girlfriend: Ok cool. I won 12 dollars here's 6 and don't come back.
You have to be a good mom to be a MILF.
Me: You have pretty eyes.
Her: Thank you.
Me: I can make them roll back 😈🥴
Why do orphans play tennis?
So they can finally get love.
Trump pumped and dumped his wife at the border.
Do you know why orphans can't get married?
Because they will never get their parents' blessing.
Noticing how wet and gentle the baby's mouth was on the bottle tip, this gave Uncle Willie an idea.
What do a relationship and suicidal thought have in common? They’ll both end soon.
There was a kid in my class who said my face looked like a physical reaction (we were learning about that stuff at the time), so I said I made a chemical reaction with his mom last night.
There was a kid in my class who said my face looked like a physical reaction (we were learning about that stuff at the time), so I said I made a chemical reaction with his mom last night.
My friend said not to look down on me. I said I can't because I'm shorter than her.
Dad: What did your older brother say before he lost his virginity?
Son: Dad, please don't.
Dad: Exactly.
What is the difference between you and an orphan?
Orphans have zero family.
So, one day I have a wife, but if it's getting a longer day, she is moving so weird, and I see she has sex with Rick Astley. 😂 [rickrolled]
What is the other word for an orphan?
Paren't.
My ex was an orphan as a child.
I should have taken that as the first sign.
If her parents didn’t want her, why would I?
Somebody keeps sending me flowers with their heads cut off.
I think I'm being stalked.
I want a relationship.
*Masturbates*
I don't want a relationship.
Why don't orphans understand dad jokes?
Once when I was 6, I had a massive crush on a girl in my grade. She liked me too, and we kissed under a tree.
Next day, same spot, but now she's pregnant. That stupid dad stole my girl!