A couple enters a Chinese restaurant and takes their seats.
The waiter asks, "想吃什么 (Xiang Chi Shen Ma)?"
The wife responds, "吃鸡巴 (Chi Ji Ba)!"
I’m taken, taken my own life, bitch!
Is there a really annoying girl at your school and she's so fake? Well, say this:
Me: Hey, I have a nickname for you.
Her: Really? What?
Me: Sweet-in-low.
Her: Why?
Me: Because you're artificial.
A virgin is what I called my daughter before I took that away from her.
Orphans want girlfriends to call someone Mommy
When someone said to an orphan, "My boyfriend ghosted me," the orphan says back, "Don't worry, my parents ghosted me!" 🤣
I don't know, I don't have one.
What do you call a man in love with an emo?
I really don't know.
Q: What is found deep inside of us, and the more we express our love for each other the more it spreads throughout the world?
A: Covid.
A man is digging in his garden and finds a gold chest. He goes to tell his wife.
Then he remembers why he was digging in the garden...
So you decide one day to ask your son if he wants to f**k, do you do it for 3 hours, then you realize how will I explain another pregnancy to my sterile husband?
Like if you wanna have sex.
If they made a movie about your sex life, what would it be?
In Afghanistan, it would be "Twelve Years a Slave!" 🤣
Q: What does an orphan call a selfie of themself?
A: A family portrait.
Where was your mom last night? In the man club?
So, when I'm about to take a shower, my mom says, "Take a shower." When I'm about to take out the trash, my mom says, "Take out the trash."
Roses are red, violets are blue, I only do anal, I thought you knew.
What's the difference between depression and your ex?
Depression fucks you harder.
My parents raised me as an only child, which really pissed off my sister.
Ex-bf's gf: You're so ugly as hell.
Me: Oh, did I mention that I was trying to be you?
