Red Jokes

What cries, is red, and is a pokey boi?

The baby you just feed nails to.

Boy: Mom, why are you drinking this disgusting red soup? I wanted salad.

Mom: Quiet, son. We only get this once a month.

A 90 year old man takes a Viagra.

Strips off naked, lies down in an alley way. Three chicks walk on by: a blond, a brunette, and a red head.

The red head said, "I'm not letting that go to waste," so she strips off and rides him. When she's finished,

The brunette then strips off naked and rides him. The blond's now worried because she just got her period. The red head sez, "He's dead. Don't let it go to waste," so she strips off naked and rides him. Then he wakes up. He then says, "Wow, two jump starts and a blood transfusion. I'm good to go!"

Roses are red, you have a nice lip, it would look better if it was on my tit.

Whats black white and red all over

Lossvagus school shooting

The image shows a tumblr post discussing the moral of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. The first comment states, "The moral of Rudolph the Red nose reindeer is that no one likes you unless you're useful." The second comment says, "Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer as capitalist propaganda: discuss." The third comment argues, "Rudolph was already exactly as useful as the other reindeer. The moral is deviation from the norm will be punished unless it is exploitable."

Roses are red,

foxes are red,

I like your butt, let me touch it forever.

What's black, white, and red?

A nun that fell down an elevator shaft.

I'm pretty socially awkward when talking to girls, so I watched a video on how to keep conversations going.

The guy said to try and find things that remind you of something else and talk about that. For example, "that oak tree over there reminds me of the one we used to climb in my backyard as a kid. It used to be so much fun... and so on."

So next time I was having a conversation with a girl, I saw a red truck. So I said, "that red truck reminds me of the time my house burned down when I was 6." She said, "oh, and the fire trucks came to your house?" And I said, "no, I was getting molested in a red truck when my house burned down."