Red jokes
Roses are red, Violets are blue, In your presence, my love, Every moment feels new.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your laughter's melody, Makes my world anew.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, In your eyes' reflection, My dreams come true.
What's the similarity between a pepperoni pizza and Freddy Krueger?
They both have red circles on their bodies.
I wondered why there was red all over my bathroom til I found out that my sis had dyed her hair red. Man, it looked like somebody died in there! Lol.
Roses are red lord give me peace
There once was a man who beat his wife, And before he even knew it, he ended her life. His hands were a mess, all red and bloody, He had to find somewhere to hide the body.
What's black and white and red all over?
The darkness of your heart, the dishonor of your lies, and the embarrassment you feel when busted for both.
What do you call a red potato?
A tomato. 🍅
(I know it's cringe!)
Roses are red, violets are not lime, if you turn around, I will fist you anytime.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, I need your peach, and I'll torture you with a speech.
What turns green to red in a flick of a switch?
A frog in a blender.
Roses are red,
Lilies are white,
One race ends up dead
And the other ends up bright.
According to the Police report, what did one traffic signal say to the other?
"Roxanne, you don't have to put on the red light..."
Three girls were lined up for execution. The black-haired one, being the smart one, turned around and yelled, "Tornado!"
Everyone panicked, and she escaped. The red-headed one, following her example, shouted as the executioners got back, "Hurricane!"
The red-headed friend escaped too. Now, it was the blonde's turn. Following both her friends, she turned to the executioners and yelled:
"Fire!"
What is a redneck's favorite sock?
A red sock.
Sususususususu su usus u sussu susu susus us ususususus sususus red sussy amogus susususususus.
What's red and runs up your leg?
A homesick abortion.
What’s red and cries?
A skinned baby in a bag of salt.
Roses are red, violets are blue, You'll suck my dick 'cause I'm stronger than you.
What do you call a baby with red on it?
A baby in a microwave.