Red jokes
Roses are red, violets are blue, I took a poo, and it smelt like you.
Roses are red, violets are blue, my mom and dad died, next you'll be gone too.
Roses are red,
My nuts are bigger than your small balls, that's why I get all the bitches.
Why does fireman wear red suspenders?
To hold his pants up.
Roses are red. The sun isn't shining. My mental state is rapidly declining.
Roses are red, just like your lips.
Mountains are big, just like your tits.
Roses are red, violets are blue. I thought someone else was ugly, but then I saw you.
Roses are red, oranges are orange.
Get a life, quit watching porn.
A girl walks into an Adult Store. "Hi, I want to buy that red dildo right there."
Cashier: "That's a fire extinguisher, you whore."
Red sky at night, shepherd's delight.
Blue sky at night, day.
Okay, roses are red, violets are blue, Barney looks better than you.
Roses are red, my pencil is blunt.
A parrot trapped on a roof keeps telling the fire crew to f*ck off!
Foxy is red,
Bonnie is blue,
And Golden Freddy will kill you.
Roses are not always red, Violets are violet, not blue. Irises are never red, Petunias can be kinda blue.
What does this tell us 'cept you can't trust a poet to tell the truth.
What does it take to paint a wall red? Kurt Cobain and his shotgun.
An electrician walks into a green house. He sees a red room. He wonders why it's red because Kurt Cobain and his shotgun were sitting there.
If half of Stephen Hawking's house was painted red and half was painted blue, what color were the stairs?
He didn't have any.
What do you call a baby with red on it?
A baby in a microwave.
Roses are red,
Violets are blue, there's always someone who's better than you.
There was a fancy dress party; the theme was emotions.
One guy came dressed in green, and he was envy; another person came dressed in red, and she was anger; another guy came dressed in blue, and he was sadness. Two Indians came, one came with a hole in a pear and his d*** was in the pear, said he was deep in dis"pear." The other Indian came with his d*** in custard, and he said he was f***ing dicustard!