Red

Red jokes

Dread

Roses are red,

romance is dead,

every day I suffer from existential dread.

Rose

Roses are red, violets are blue, You'll suck my dick 'cause I'm stronger than you.

Nun

Mom, what happens if you swear at a church?

Well, honey, a tee posing nun with glowing red eyes and nunchucks will beat you.

Baby

What do you call a baby with red curry fried hair?

A baby using a potato peeler and a comb.

Memes

Hacker

If Red gets voted out, what happened?

Red is not voted out, Red is a hacker, so he kills Blue. OK, so someone found Blue's body. Red said, "Where?"

Lime, Green, and Purple said, "How is Red not dead?"

Red: "I am a hacker, you noobs!"

Lime, Green, and Purple run.

Red killed them all. Red is the win, but he is not the win.

Black killed Red. Black is the win.

LOL

Miscarriage

What is 6" long, bright red, and your wife cries when you feed it to her?

Her miscarriage.

Blonde

A blond, a brunette, and a redhead walked into a bar. The bartender told them there was a magic mirror in the bathroom. He said that if you spoke the truth in front of the mirror, you would have your greatest desires, but if you told a lie, you would disappear.

The redhead said that she was the prettiest girl in the bar, and she walked out of the bathroom, and she got a thousand dollars. The brunette walked in and said she was the smartest one in the bar. She walked out of the bar with a new car. The blonde went in, she said, "I think..." poof, she was gone.

Abortion

What’s red, nine inches long, and makes my girlfriend cry every time she sees it?

Her abortion.

Elephant

Why do elephants paint their toes red, blue, green, orange, brown, and yellow?

So they can hide in a bag of M&Ms.

Muffin

Roses are red, My friend is choking. That stupid bitch shouldn't have eaten my muffin.

Abortion

What's red, green, and slimy and slides down the chip shop window?

Abortion of chips.

Brick

What’s red and bad for your dental health? A brick.

What’s invisible and bad for you to breathe? Mustard gas.

What’s green and bad for you to drink? Radioactive waste.

Flag

How could the German people fall for Hitler and the Nazis?

There were an awful lot of red flags!

Rose

Roses are red, your mother has said, "Come back again, and you'll be dead!"

Blood

Roses are red... blood is too... I wonder how blood would look on you.