Red jokes
How do you paint a wall red? Throw a baby at it!
What is red, orange, and yellow but doesn’t feel anything when it falls? Autumn leaves. 🍁
What's white but not black, and red all over?
J. K. Rowling after attending the world premiere of the next Matrix movie.
Roses are red, violets are not lime, if you turn around, I will fist you anytime.
What's black and white and red all over?
The darkness of your heart, the dishonor of your lies, and the embarrassment you feel when busted for both.
Roses are red lord give me peace
There once was a man who beat his wife, And before he even knew it, he ended her life. His hands were a mess, all red and bloody, He had to find somewhere to hide the body.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, I need your peach, and I'll torture you with a speech.
What do you call a red potato?
A tomato. 🍅
(I know it's cringe!)
Roses are red, violets are blue, people think that you’re fat, until they saw your mom.
Yo mamma so dumb that she jumped off a building after drinking Red Bull.
What do you call it when Red Sox can't pull out?
Boston cream pie.
What's black and grey and red all over?
A dead r******.
Me and rose bushes have something in common: mangled, can hurt, red, and people only like one part.
Did you hear about the red ship and the blue ship that collided? Both crews were marooned!
What is a redneck's favorite sock?
A red sock.
Sususususususu su usus u sussu susu susus us ususususus sususus red sussy amogus susususususus.
What's red and runs up your leg?
A homesick abortion.
What’s red and cries?
A skinned baby in a bag of salt.
Roses are red, I need a broom, I just shit all over the bathroom.
What do you call a baby with red curry fried hair?
A baby using a potato peeler and a comb.