Red jokes
What is red, white, and blue all over?
A dead cop.
Friend: Ooo, I see Jessica.
Me: Nice.
Friend: She got some red on her shirt.
Me: Yeah, that's where the Titanic hit her :///
Roses are red, I like burgers on a bun.
This news: family neuters furry son.
How fast did Little Sally paint the barn red?
As soon as the bomb exploded on her.
Q: What's red and screams?
A: A peeled baby in a bag of salt.
Why did the tomato go red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
Roses are red, I have a confession:
A man kills best friend after 10hrs anal sex session.
A goat drank my Red Bull, so now it's a Baphomet!
What is red, white, and blue and makes me proud to live in this country?
The baby in the corner I choked, stabbed, and then came on.
Bambi was calmly eating grass. All of a sudden, a red dot pointed near his heart caught his attention. He looked around anxiously, and he saw a man in camouflage. He whispered, "Time to join mother, Bambi!" Bambi knew what this meant. He ran. He heard a gunshot, followed by a wave of extreme pain. Bambi fell to the ground. He glanced at his leg, which was no longer attached to his body. The man in camouflage came up to him and stabbed him in the heart. Everything went black...
What happens when you cross a cow and a redneck?
The redneck fucks the cow.
What do you call an Indian?
Person in red. Cart a pack of Maltesers.
Roses are red, violets are blue, The children are fast, But Elmo is faster, Bow down to your master!
Roses are red, violets are blue, in the middle of the day, give me money, you!
Roses are red, violets are blue, I tell you, you look pretty, but all you do is look like a poo.
"Roses are red, shut up and go to bed."
Wolf looks like a fox.
It has the sharpest claws.
It has a bushy tail.
To eat, it doesn't fail.
It has a coat of red.
My grandmother has said,
It hunts in search of food.
It is never, never good!
Roses are red, violets are blue, You missed your lesson today, so you are gay.
Are you a razor? 'Cause you make me red.
What is red and puts out fire?