Red jokes
What's white but not black, and red all over?
J. K. Rowling after attending the world premiere of the next Matrix movie.
Did you hear about the red ship and the blue ship that collided? Both crews were marooned!
Roses are red, Violets are blue, In your eyes' reflection, My dreams come true.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your laughter's melody, Makes my world anew.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, In your presence, my love, Every moment feels new.
Memes
What's the similarity between a pepperoni pizza and Freddy Krueger?
They both have red circles on their bodies.
Why does Mao Zedong like the east coast?
Because there is a red Sun in the sky.
What do you call a red potato?
A tomato. 🍅
(I know it's cringe!)
I wondered why there was red all over my bathroom til I found out that my sis had dyed her hair red. Man, it looked like somebody died in there! Lol.
There once was a man who beat his wife, And before he even knew it, he ended her life. His hands were a mess, all red and bloody, He had to find somewhere to hide the body.
What turns green to red in a flick of a switch?
A frog in a blender.
Why did the Red Sox lose?
They say, "Boo, Colorado Rockies."
Red hot 🥵
Q: What's black and white and red all over?
A: The U.S. in 1919!
Roses are red, violets are blue.
My heart is dead.
I’m such a fool.
Why did I fall for you?
Q. What's red and pink and spins around really fast? A. A baby in a blender.
What is a redneck's favorite sock?
A red sock.
Sususususususu su usus u sussu susu susus us ususususus sususus red sussy amogus susususususus.
What's red and runs up your leg?
A homesick abortion.
What’s red and cries?
A skinned baby in a bag of salt.