Red jokes
What has 2 legs and is red all over?
Me and rose bushes have something in common: mangled, can hurt, red, and people only like one part.
The shark bit me and I feet red down my legs.
Roses are red,
I am dead.
You could call me wet, or I will keep your dread.
Y'know, I never knew Obi-Wan Kenobi participated in an anime, "Snow White with the Red Hair," up until now.
Roses are red, violets are blue, Tory shirts step in doodoo.
Is skin picking self-harm?
Cause I'm red all over without a razor.
Roses are red, violets are blue, Mike Pence's hair is made of glue.
What do you call an Indian?
Person in red. Cart a pack of Maltesers.
A little girl and a little boy are taking a bath together when the little girl looks down and asks, "What's that?" The little boy says, "That's my little red race car." 10 minutes later, the boy looks down and asks, "What's that?" The little girl says, "That's my little red race car garage."
So later that night the boy asks the little girl if he can put his little red race car in her little red race car garage. She says yes, and they pull down their pants and the boy tries putting his little red race car in her garage, but it won't fit. Downstairs, the mother hears an ear-piercing scream and runs upstairs, flips on the lights, and sees blood on the floor. The mother asks, "What happened?" The little girl says, "We tried putting his car in my garage and it wouldn't fit, so I cut the back wheels off."
My boss doctor said that we are getting a surgeon coming in tomorrow. I'm super excited to work with him. The next day, we had to do our first-ever open heart surgery, so me and the surgeon spent many hours on this patient. We finished the surgery and went outside for a smoke, and we were talking. I said, "Why did you keep the patient's blood on your glove?"
He replied, "We in my free time I test it for anything diseases, HIV." The next day, I got invited to his house, and we had some drinks. I said, "This is amazing red tea. What is in it?" Just the 2000 people you have cut open.
Roses are red, I have no money, I want to be dominated by a goth mommy.
Teacher's pen is RED, our pen is BLUE, she is marking an EGG on my marksheet, left with questions and no CLUE.
Roses are red,
my life is a disaster,
the children are fast,
but the combine is F A S T E R!
What's red and got makeup all over?
A Bill Cosby victim.
A B C D E F G.
Gummy bears are chasing me, one is red, one is blue. One is chewing up my shoe. Now I'm running for my life because the red one's got a knife!
Roses are red, get on your knees, and bark for me!
Roses are red, Kevin Spacey is gay,
If you'd stayed with your parents, I wouldn't have taken you away.
Daddy, why is this red soup so sweet?
Because your mother has diabetes.
Roses are red, flowers naturally cannot be black.
I heard that your dad's in jail for selling crack!