Red jokes
Teacher: Describe a penguin.
Student: Black, white, beak.
Teacher: Good, now describe an orphan.
Student: Sad, maybe depressed, no family.
Teacher: Amazing, now describe a cow.
Student: Brown bun hair, red shirt, white skirt, pantyhose, and dollar tree shoes.
Teacher: No! How does that describe a cow?
Student: It describes you tho.
Roses are red, violets are black, I traded my son for 10 Big Macs.
An apple walked into the clinic.
The doctor asked what his favorite color was.
The apple said "red." :)
If Stephen Hawking was an Xbox... he just red ringed and rose up to GameStop.
Roses are red, Tomatoes are redder. I think we both know, I like you better.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, In your presence, my love, Every moment feels new.
If half of Stephen Hawking's house was painted red and half was painted blue, what color were the stairs?
He didn't have any.
What do you call it when Red Sox can't pull out?
Boston cream pie.
Foxy is red,
Bonnie is blue,
And Golden Freddy will kill you.
Yo mamma so dumb that she jumped off a building after drinking Red Bull.
What do you call a redneck on fire?
A fire cracker.
What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To try to get away from the man.
Why did the man cross the road?
Because his d**k was stuck in the chicken.
Roses are red, don’t touch the toys, these are what the priests use to lure in the boys.
What's the similarity between a pepperoni pizza and Freddy Krueger?
They both have red circles on their bodies.
Roses are red, I failed my test, All because of Hugh and his incest.
Roses are red, my toaster too,
Oh shit, I've burnt the house down, what do I do?
An electrician walks into a green house. He sees a red room. He wonders why it's red because Kurt Cobain and his shotgun were sitting there.
Which is redder: a baby or a red car? It depends on how the baby was killed!
What's brown and white with red all over?
Terrorists when they went into the Twin Towers.