Red jokes

Roses are blood red, violets are twilight-hued; your blood was delectable, and so was the rest of you.

Roses are red... Orphans are blue... I killed the priest so I could rape them too.

What's black and white and red all over?

A massacre at a funeral.

Roses are red, Tomatoes are redder. I think we both know, I like you better.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, We're breaking up because I never loved you.

What did the green light say to the red light? - Don't look, I'm changing!

I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom... Until they are flashing behind you!

Roses are red. Violets are blue. When I'm taking out the trash, I remember you.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I don't know why I am still alive for you.

ok this isn't a joke but it's funny.

Roses are red, nuts are brown, Skirts go up, pants go down. Body to body, skin to skin, when it's stiff, stick it in. It goes in dry, comes out wet, the longer it's in, the stronger it gets. It comes out dripping and starts to sag, It's not what you think, it's a lipton tea bag.

Get your mind out of the gutter.

Roses are red, violets are black. Why is your chest as flat as your back?

Roses are red, violets are blue, I buttfucked Scooby Doo.

What's both red, white and sometimes purple?

My arms...

I SH so much, even when I die and become a ghost, you can see red stripes floating around the room.

What's red and green and goes 100 miles per hour? A frog in a blender.

Chuck Norris decided to sell his urine as an energy drink, which you now know as Red Bull.

How Chinese is COVID? About the same as those red MAGA hats made in China.

My girlfriend asked me to write her a poem for Valentines Day:

Roses are red, Watches are gold. Get on your knees, And do as you're told.

Roses are red, violets are fine, I'll be the six, you be the nine.

I was in the corner shop and the Indian woman was sporting a red dot on her forehead. I scratched it off and won a fucking Ford Focus!