Red jokes
What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
Why does Mao Zedong like the east coast?
Because there is a red Sun in the sky.
What turns green to red in a flick of a switch?
A frog in a blender.
Why does the nurse need a red pen?
In case she has to draw blood.
What's black and grey and red all over?
A dead r******.
Roses are red, violets are blue, Alexander Boris de Pfeffel had wine and cheese while your loved ones died in the ICU.
What's black and white and red all over?
A massacre at a funeral.
Ricardo Medina, one of the former red Power Rangers, pleaded guilty to killing his roommate with a sword.
Roses are red, violets are blue, The children are fast, But Elmo is faster, Bow down to your master!
Teacher: Describe a penguin.
Student: Black, white, beak.
Teacher: Good, now describe an orphan.
Student: Sad, maybe depressed, no family.
Teacher: Amazing, now describe a cow.
Student: Brown bun hair, red shirt, white skirt, pantyhose, and dollar tree shoes.
Teacher: No! How does that describe a cow?
Student: It describes you tho.
Comment anything if you liked the picture of Kenya in her bra!
Hint: It was a red bra with pink strips! And it said, "I love everyone!"
#she is sex*
What’s black, white, and red all over?
An embarrassed biracial guy.
What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
Roses are red, violets are black, I traded my son for 10 Big Macs.
Roses are red, That's a tin can, You have no home, So get in the van!
If half of Stephen Hawking's house was painted red and half was painted blue, what color were the stairs?
He didn't have any.
My field trip at school earlier:
Little Timmy (angrily): "I WANT MY IPAD!"
Ms. Melina: "We can have it at school if you turn your day around."
Little Timmy: "BUT I WANT IT RIGHT F**KING NOW!"
Ms. Melina: "But we're heading back to school."
Little Timmy: "B**TCH, I HATE SCHOOL! I’M GOING HOME!"
Little Timmy *starts banging the bus window*
Little Timmy: "THAT’S IT, I F**KING HATE SCHOOL! I’M GOING TO CANADA!"
Ms. Melina: "TIMMY, STOP IT! THE SCHOOL IS GONNA MAKE YOU PAY FOR THAT WINDOW IF YOU BREAK IT!"
Me: "Let’s just tell his family to move to Shadow Bay anyways because Red Oaks would be so f**king good for him."
*Window breaks*
Ms. Melina: "STOP THAT RIGHT F**KING NOW!"
Little Timmy: "BUT JEFFY AND JUNIOR ARE PICKING ME UP AND TAKING ME TO F**KING CANADA RIGHT NOW! LEAVE ME THE F**K ALONE!"
Ms. Melina: "THAT’S IT TIMMY, YOU'RE SO F**KING BUSTED! I’M CALLING MS. ALEJANDRA RIGHT NOW!"
The end.
Foxy is red,
Bonnie is blue,
And Golden Freddy will kill you.
Your mama is so nasty.
She showed up to Red Lobster with her own crabs.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, In this world of chaos, I find peace with you.