Recreation jokes

What do you get when you mix birth control and LSD?

A trip without kids.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high, grabbed her thigh, and said, "You know you wanna." Jill said yes and pulled up her dress, and then they had some fun, but silly Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a daughter.

Haha, I fucked you over!

My dad and I were fishing one day.

That’s where he met my stepmom.

Why do scuba divers fall backwards off of the boat?

Because if they fell forward, they'd still be on the boat.

Why can't orphans play baseball?

Because there would be no home base.

Q: Why do orphans love playing tennis?

A: Because the ball comes back.

How do you make a suicidal guy go bungee jumping?

Tie the bungee cord around his neck.

What's the difference between a trampoline and a dead baby?

I take my boots off before jumping on a trampoline.

what is the difference between a basement full of dead prostitutes and a bowling ball in the basement?

I don't bowl.

Why are orphans so good at tennis?

They never get love.

A police officer came up to me and said, "Just why, why would you bring the epileptic children to a laser tag fight?"

Are you a playground? Because I want to put my kids in you.

Why do orphans enjoy playing tennis?

It's the only way they’ll get love.

Why didn't the boy like his Christmas presents? Hint: They were a soccer ball, bicycle, and running shoes.

What do you call a toy that has a story?

Toy Story.

Why are friends good at dodgeball? Because no one misses them.

Why can't orphans play baseball? They can't find a home.

A person could build a playground with your mood swings.

Why do fathers take an extra pair of socks when they go golfing?

In case they get a hole in one!

What did the kids say hi to? A slide.