What do your girlfriend and a pool have in common? They both cost a lot of money for the amount of time you’re inside them.
What do you call a bowling ball that falls from the sky and knocks down all the bowling pins?
An airstrike.
So I got my son a trampoline for Christmas this year, and he was so ungrateful, like he just sat there crying in his wheelchair. What has this world come to?
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't find home.
This pastor decided to skip church one Sunday morning and go play golf.
He told his assistant that he wasn't feeling well. He drove to a golf course in another city, so nobody would know him.
He teed off on the first hole. A huge gust of wind caught his ball, carried it an extra hundred yards and dropped it right in the hole, for a 450 yard hole in one.
An angel looked at God and said "What'd you do that for?" God smiled and said "Who's he going to tell?"
Having sex while camping is fucking in tents (intense).
There were three boys on the top of a slide.
The first one went down yelling "gold!" and landed in a pot of gold. The second boy went down and shouted "pillows!" and landed in a heap of pillows. The final boy went down and shouted "weeeeeeeee!"
What is a duck's favorite thing to smoke?
Quack.
That camping trip was in-tents.
Why is a pro fighter like a fisher?
They both can throw a hook.
What do you call a guy that's high in a wheelchair?
A baked potato.
Why can't you tell a joke in a corn maze?
Because there's too many ears.
Me and my friend were duck hunting.
He shot 5 ducks in one shot. Then he shot by accident and yelled "DUCK!" then "MOTHERDUCKER!" Then ducks came down and one by one bit him.
A kid got a bike and a soccer ball for Christmas. He was still unhappy.
Why?
The kid had no legs.
So my friend and I went camping at a Cold Lake Campground and he jumped into it without any warning, and so I asked him, "Wat-er you doing?"
What did the bowler say when the balls were on the lane and the pin? They said, "Strike!" 😂😂😂😂
Last night I had a dream about fishing poles, turns out it wasn't reel!
When I went to the basketball pitch, I saw a man dribbling his own balls.
What goes up and down and needs two people?
A seesaw.
I took a special needs child to a shooting range.
Poor bastard had no idea which direction to run in.
