What do you call a load of retards in a swimming pool?
Vegetable soup.
What do emo kids like to do in their spare time?
Hanging out.
A guy goes ice fishing for the very first time. All of a sudden, he hears a voice. “There are no fish under the ice!”
He ignores it and moves to another area, cuts a hole, and tosses his line in. Again, he hears the booming voice: “There are no fish under the ice!”
He nervously looks up and asks, “Lord? Is that you?”
“No, this is the rink manager!”
If you jump off a building and yell "parkour," how can they tell that it was intentional? T'was a failed stunt.
Why did the kid cross the playground? To get to the other slide!
I asked my dad why a grown man would play Pokémon Go?
He said “Wynaut.”
I make weed disappear, what's your superpower?
I bought my son a trampoline. That little a**hole stayed in his wheelchair the whole day.
What do you call a dude that is always high and gets higher than everyone else in the family? The alpha pothead!
Did you hear about the guy that went to a nudist colony? The first day was his hardest.
I recently got kicked out of a casino because I apparently misunderstood what the craps table was for.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they don’t have a home to run to.
Why did the golfer change his pants?
Because he got a hole in one!
How do you make a handkerchief dance?
You put a little boogie in it.
Why couldn’t the kid play baseball? Because he couldn’t find home.
🎨🧑🏻🦰 day was that good fun day at home 🏠. I had to the earth and I love it when you get a home and walk walk home from school and walk home and walk walk home from school and walk walk home 🏠. Was your birthday 🎁? I did.
What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back?
A stick.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
They don’t know where home is.
Why couldn't an orphan play baseball?
He couldn't find home plate.
What do you call a stoner when horny?
A weed whacker!
