Recreation jokes
So I got my son a trampoline for Christmas this year, and he was so ungrateful, like he just sat there crying in his wheelchair. What has this world come to?
What do you call a load of retards in a swimming pool?
Vegetable soup.
I bought my spoiled brother a trampoline for his birthday, but he decided to sit in his wheelchair like a little bitch.
What do you call a guy that's high in a wheelchair?
A baked potato.
What do emo kids like to do in their spare time?
Hanging out.
What's the difference between a golfer and a skydiver?
A golfer goes *whack* "darn" and a skydiver goes "darn" *whack.*
A guy goes ice fishing for the very first time. All of a sudden, he hears a voice. “There are no fish under the ice!”
He ignores it and moves to another area, cuts a hole, and tosses his line in. Again, he hears the booming voice: “There are no fish under the ice!”
He nervously looks up and asks, “Lord? Is that you?”
“No, this is the rink manager!”
Having sex while camping is fucking in tents (intense).
🎨🧑🏻🦰 day was that good fun day at home 🏠. I had to the earth and I love it when you get a home and walk walk home from school and walk home and walk walk home from school and walk walk home 🏠. Was your birthday 🎁? I did.
Did you hear about the guy that went to a nudist colony? The first day was his hardest.
How do you make a handkerchief dance?
You put a little boogie in it.
I recently got kicked out of a casino because I apparently misunderstood what the craps table was for.
What do you call a stick with a string on the end of it?
A fishing pole.
Why did the kid cross the playground? To get to the other slide!
I asked my dad why a grown man would play Pokémon Go?
He said “Wynaut.”
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they don’t have a home to run to.
If you jump off a building and yell "parkour," how can they tell that it was intentional? T'was a failed stunt.
I make weed disappear, what's your superpower?
What do you call a dude that is always high and gets higher than everyone else in the family? The alpha pothead!
Why did the golfer change his pants?
Because he got a hole in one!