Recreation jokes
So I got my son a trampoline for Christmas this year, and he was so ungrateful, like he just sat there crying in his wheelchair. What has this world come to?
What do you call a load of retards in a swimming pool?
Vegetable soup.
I bought my spoiled brother a trampoline for his birthday, but he decided to sit in his wheelchair like a little bitch.
What do you call a guy that's high in a wheelchair?
A baked potato.
What's the difference between a golfer and a skydiver?
A golfer goes *whack* "darn" and a skydiver goes "darn" *whack.*
What do emo kids like to do in their spare time?
Hanging out.
A guy goes ice fishing for the very first time. All of a sudden, he hears a voice. “There are no fish under the ice!”
He ignores it and moves to another area, cuts a hole, and tosses his line in. Again, he hears the booming voice: “There are no fish under the ice!”
He nervously looks up and asks, “Lord? Is that you?”
“No, this is the rink manager!”
Having sex while camping is fucking in tents (intense).
I make weed disappear, what's your superpower?
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they don’t have a home to run to.
If you jump off a building and yell "parkour," how can they tell that it was intentional? T'was a failed stunt.
How do you make a handkerchief dance?
You put a little boogie in it.
What do you call a dude that is always high and gets higher than everyone else in the family? The alpha pothead!
Why did the golfer change his pants?
Because he got a hole in one!
I asked my dad why a grown man would play Pokémon Go?
He said “Wynaut.”
What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back?
A stick.
Why did the kid cross the playground? To get to the other slide!
Why couldn't an orphan play baseball?
He couldn't find home plate.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
They don’t know where home is.
Why couldn’t the kid play baseball? Because he couldn’t find home.