How does Moses prepare his tea? – Hebrews it.
Two blondes fall down a well. One says to the other one, “Isn’t it dark down here?” She replies, “I don’t know. I can’t see.”
What do friends and trees have in common? They both fall down when you hit them with an axe.
What’s red and bad for your teeth? – A brick.
I know a woman who owns a taser. – She’s stunning!
A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
Why can’t blind people eat fish?
Because it’s sea food.
What’s the best thing about 28 year old’s? -There’s 20 of them.
How does NASA organize a party? – They planet.
What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college? – “Bison.”
Why was the man fired from a calendar factory? – He took a day off.
What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back? – A stick.
What’s the cheapest kind of meat you can buy?
Deer balls. They’re under a buck.
How many Mexicans does it take to change a light bulb? – Just Juan.
How do you count cows? – With a cowculator.
What’s the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? – The wheelchair.
Two antennas got married on a roof. The ceremony was horrible but the reception was great!
Why don’t you ever see hippos hiding in trees? – Because they are really good at it.
My boyfriend came over today and stole my milk. How dairy.
Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building? - Of course. The Empire State Building can’t jump.