Why don’t you ever see hippos hiding in trees? – Because they are really good at it.

Why can’t blind people eat fish?

Because it’s sea food.

Two blondes fall down a well. One says to the other one, “Isn’t it dark down here?” She replies, “I don’t know. I can’t see.”

How does Moses prepare his tea? – Hebrews it.

What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back? – A stick.

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

What’s red and bad for your teeth? – A brick.

What’s the best thing about 28 year old’s? -There’s 20 of them.

I was going to buy a pocket calculator. But then I thought, who cares how many pockets I have.

Why was the man fired from a calendar factory? – He took a day off.

How many Mexicans does it take to change a light bulb? – Just Juan.

I know a woman who owns a taser. – She’s stunning!

Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building? - Of course. The Empire State Building can’t jump.

What’s green, fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you? – A pool table.

What’s the cheapest kind of meat you can buy?

Deer balls. They’re under a buck.

What do friends and trees have in common? They both fall down when you hit them with an axe.

My boyfriend came over today and stole my milk. How dairy.

Where do you learn to make ice cream? – Sundae school.

Do all black people have a problem with slavery? Or just mine?

Two antennas got married on a roof. The ceremony was horrible but the reception was great!

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