How does Moses prepare his tea? – Hebrews it.
Two blondes fall down a well. One says to the other one, “Isn’t it dark down here?” She replies, “I don’t know. I can’t see.”
A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
Why can’t blind people eat fish?
Because it’s sea food.
What’s the best thing about 28 year old’s? -There’s 20 of them.
What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college? – “Bison.”
Why was the man fired from a calendar factory? – He took a day off.
How does NASA organize a party? – They planet.
What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back? – A stick.
What’s red and bad for your teeth? – A brick.
How do you count cows? – With a cowculator.
What’s the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? – The wheelchair.
How many Mexicans does it take to change a light bulb? – Just Juan.
Two antennas got married on a roof. The ceremony was horrible but the reception was great!
I know a woman who owns a taser. – She’s stunning!
Why don’t you ever see hippos hiding in trees? – Because they are really good at it.
What’s the cheapest kind of meat you can buy?
Deer balls. They’re under a buck.
Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building? - Of course. The Empire State Building can’t jump.
What do friends and trees have in common? They both fall down when you hit them with an axe.
My boyfriend came over today and stole my milk. How dairy.