Why is the most popular food at a baseball stadium pancakes? Because everybody likes a good batter!
I got a new job at a trampoline park the other day. If I’m being honest, it’s got its ups and downs.
Why did Harry fall out of the boat?
Because he's hooked!
One day, there are friends having fun.
Hours later, one of the friends, Alice, wanted to leave and said, "Cya guys, I'm just gonna hang in the tree and have some fresh air."
And they all agree.
Hours go by, and the group of friends are ready to go home, but then they see a tree in the distance that looks like someone is hanging on the tree with a tight rope.
How were tire swings made?
A tire said, "Goodbye world," and hung himself.
If at first you don't succeed, oh well, so much for skydiving.
Why'd Susie go down the slide too fast?
Because her wheelchair was good.
So, if she gargles your cum, is that a jacuzzi daycare?
What happened when the dog played golf?
He hit the ball into the ruff.
The tent pole is up, The canvas is spread, The hell with breakfast, Come back to bed.
Take the tent pole down, Put the canvas away, The monkey had a hemorrhage, No circus today.
What has a heart but no organs?
A deck of cards!
"Don't sneeze!"
Every time I was in the bathroom with my friends, I would always tell them, "Don't sneeze!" and when I did, they just laughed so hard. And when we sneezed, we laughed even harder.
Also,
"It dangles and swung!"
Language art quizzes are the best.
What do you call a stick with a string on the end of it?
A fishing pole.
Where do golf players practice?
Near a gulf.
"Look, Ma! I peed in the pool!"
If you kayak with a cap on and the kayak capsizes, whether or not the cap falls off depends on the cap size.
Dad joke.
Why does a dad get more than a pair of socks at the golf course?
Because of a hole in one!
Why can't orphans play baseball?
'Cause they can't find home.
Dad: Want to go to the park, kid?
Kid: Sure.
Dad: Come on.
Kid: Why are we at the orphanage?
Dad: Go in.
What does a kite and a criminal have in common?
They both get high.
