My girlfriend was cheating in Uno.
She's not the only one who can play that game.
What's the difference between a golfer and a fisherman? A fisherman has to bring proof back.
Where do squirrels go for fun?
The acorn-ival.
How does a train dance?
It bogies!
Have you watched the show "Naked and Afraid"? Well, I play it every Saturday with my uncle.
A small boy went up to a dog fountain? The more you. HAHA gorgeous ddollars of benjamin frnakus wghen hes wearing beakini bea at the beach hahaha.
Where do surfers go to school?
Boarding school.
How do you ride two bikes at once?
You ride them in tandem!
Yo mama so fat, she uses the Gulf of Mexico as her hot tub!
Why couldn't the surfer hang 10?
Because he forgot his feats!
What has 4 legs and two gloves?
All five people on my baseball team. ⚾️
Why are basketball courts slippery?
Because the players dribble on it.
What is a photographer's favorite card game?
SNAP!
I love jumping off cliffs.
A man went hunting with his son and shot an animal.
The father asks the son to identify the animal he just shot, and the son answers: "Holy Cow!"
Father: "What do you mean, 'Holy Cow?'"
Son: "You shot a hole in the cow, of course!"
Last night I shared a bed with two of my friends because we were in a small hotel. We had strange dreams last night.
My friend on the left dreamed of getting a handjob.
So did my friend on the right.
I had a dream of skiing.
Why are 10-pin bowlers always in pain?
Because their balls have holes in them.
My son asked for a swimming pool so I got him a ant 🐜🐜🐜 pool.
I was playing hide and seek at work the other day. Unfortunately, it ended with me in the hospital, though; ICU.
I made a playlist for hiking. It has music from Peanuts, the Cranberries, and Eminem.
I call it my trail mix.
