Yo mama so fat when she wanted to get wet, she used the highway as a slippin' slide!
What is the difference between a baby and a trampoline?
You take your shoes off to jump on one.
Did you hear about the midget who was beaten to death playing volleyball at a nudist colony?
One day I went skating and skated for so long that my feet were incredibly sore.
It was like my skates were moving all by themselves, but I decided to just roll with the situation.
Jack and his kids went to the lake, and his mother wants him to go swimming. You know what he says? "Back where you came from!"
Why don't orphans go to the park?
Because their parents aren't there to push them on the swing!
What do you call a pool full of white people?
Kix.
Someone was crushing a bag of chips. I said, "Are you making edibles?"
My kids [are] so damn bad[.] We took them to Disney in Florida. They paid me not to bring them back ever.
I did a walk today, but it was good for Tyler. I was just trying to have a good time to sleep good. I got yyy night and a night.
Two people were on a boat. They were afloat on water!
Why can’t orphans have a good childhood?
Because they could not go to theme parks! 😅😅
My wife saw me hit the best drive yesterday with my golf clubs.
I must have drove that chihuahua 300 yards.
What is a playground that is old?
A rotten playground.
I did a walk today, but it was good for me and my car. And a walk today.
What do you call the 10th hole on a military golf course?
Ten-putt!
My friend Joe was a great hunter. He always shot like 3 deer every week.
He was even better at school when he bagged 30 of them.
What do you call a man with no arms or legs being pulled by a boat?
Skip.
Why do orphans not play Call of Duty?
Because they have to land at houses.
Two tourists climb a mountain that utters certain doom.
One tourist falls down. The tourist that's still on the mountain says, "You ok down there?"
The other tourist says, "Can't I just rest in peace?!"
