The tent pole is up, The canvas is spread, The hell with breakfast, Come back to bed.
Take the tent pole down, Put the canvas away, The monkey had a hemorrhage, No circus today.
What has a heart but no organs?
A deck of cards!
"Don't sneeze!"
Every time I was in the bathroom with my friends, I would always tell them, "Don't sneeze!" and when I did, they just laughed so hard. And when we sneezed, we laughed even harder.
Also,
"It dangles and swung!"
Language art quizzes are the best.
What do you call a stick with a string on the end of it?
A fishing pole.
Where do golf players practice?
Near a gulf.
"Look, Ma! I peed in the pool!"
If you kayak with a cap on and the kayak capsizes, whether or not the cap falls off depends on the cap size.
Dad joke.
Why does a dad get more than a pair of socks at the golf course?
Because of a hole in one!
Why can't orphans play baseball?
'Cause they can't find home.
Dad: Want to go to the park, kid?
Kid: Sure.
Dad: Come on.
Kid: Why are we at the orphanage?
Dad: Go in.
What does a kite and a criminal have in common?
They both get high.
My girlfriend was cheating in Uno.
She's not the only one who can play that game.
What's the difference between a golfer and a fisherman? A fisherman has to bring proof back.
Where do squirrels go for fun?
The acorn-ival.
How does a train dance?
It bogies!
Have you watched the show "Naked and Afraid"? Well, I play it every Saturday with my uncle.
A small boy went up to a dog fountain? The more you. HAHA gorgeous ddollars of benjamin frnakus wghen hes wearing beakini bea at the beach hahaha.
Where do surfers go to school?
Boarding school.
How do you ride two bikes at once?
You ride them in tandem!
Yo mama so fat, she uses the Gulf of Mexico as her hot tub!
