Recreation jokes

If at first you don't succeed, oh well, so much for skydiving.

Why did Sally fall off the swing?

Because she was hit by a bus.

Why can't an orphan play baseball?

Because he can't find home.

So, if she gargles your cum, is that a jacuzzi daycare?

What happened when the dog played golf?

He hit the ball into the ruff.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to go and swim in some shit. Jack forgot to bring some goggles and floaty, and now they have a daughter.

Secret: Jill didn’t go in the shit yet. Jack went in first and died! :D

The tent pole is up, The canvas is spread, The hell with breakfast, Come back to bed.

Take the tent pole down, Put the canvas away, The monkey had a hemorrhage, No circus today.

I was at a baseball game and I was wondering why the ball was coming closer.

And then it hit me.

What has a heart but no organs?

A deck of cards!

I was playing chess with my friend and he said, “Let’s make this interesting.” So I took away his towers, and he took away my queen.

What’s a priest's favorite sport?

Golf, because most of the holes are less than 18.

Why do orphans like to play tennis?

Because that’s the only love they will get.

You don't need a parachute to go skydiving, just to go skydiving twice.

I made a playlist for hiking. It has music from Peanuts, the Cranberries, and Eminem.

I call it my trail mix.

What's an Emo's favorite game? Hangman.

I can’t take my dog to the park anymore.

Why?

The ducks keep trying to eat him.

Why would they do that?

Because he’s pure-bread.

What’s the difference between video games and my dad?

My dad doesn’t beat me.

I went to the aquarium this weekend, but I didn’t stay long. There’s something fishy about that place.

My favorite thing to do in libraries is put cookbooks in the women’s sports section.

What does weed and the Carolina Panthers have in common?

They both get smoked in bowls.