Recreation jokes
Why do orphans love playing tennis?
Because it’s the only love they get.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because he can't find home.
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Because she was hit by a bus.
If at first you don't succeed, oh well, so much for skydiving.
So, if she gargles your cum, is that a jacuzzi daycare?
What happened when the dog played golf?
He hit the ball into the ruff.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to go and swim in some shit. Jack forgot to bring some goggles and floaty, and now they have a daughter.
Secret: Jill didn’t go in the shit yet. Jack went in first and died! :D
The tent pole is up, The canvas is spread, The hell with breakfast, Come back to bed.
Take the tent pole down, Put the canvas away, The monkey had a hemorrhage, No circus today.
I was at a baseball game and I was wondering why the ball was coming closer.
And then it hit me.
What has a heart but no organs?
A deck of cards!
What does weed and the Carolina Panthers have in common?
They both get smoked in bowls.
I can’t take my dog to the park anymore.
Why?
The ducks keep trying to eat him.
Why would they do that?
Because he’s pure-bread.
My favorite thing to do in libraries is put cookbooks in the women’s sports section.
I went to the aquarium this weekend, but I didn’t stay long. There’s something fishy about that place.
What’s the difference between video games and my dad?
My dad doesn’t beat me.
I made a playlist for hiking. It has music from Peanuts, the Cranberries, and Eminem.
I call it my trail mix.
What's the difference between a golfer and a fisherman? A fisherman has to bring proof back.
Where do squirrels go for fun?
The acorn-ival.
How does a train dance?
It bogies!
What has 4 legs and two gloves?
All five people on my baseball team. ⚾️