Recreation jokes
If at first you don't succeed, oh well, so much for skydiving.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because he can't find home.
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Because she was hit by a bus.
So, if she gargles your cum, is that a jacuzzi daycare?
Jack and Jill went up the hill to go and swim in some shit. Jack forgot to bring some goggles and floaty, and now they have a daughter.
Secret: Jill didn’t go in the shit yet. Jack went in first and died! :D
The tent pole is up, The canvas is spread, The hell with breakfast, Come back to bed.
Take the tent pole down, Put the canvas away, The monkey had a hemorrhage, No circus today.
What happened when the dog played golf?
He hit the ball into the ruff.
I was at a baseball game and I was wondering why the ball was coming closer.
And then it hit me.
What has a heart but no organs?
A deck of cards!
I was playing chess with my friend and he said, “Let’s make this interesting.” So I took away his towers, and he took away my queen.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana.
Jack got high and slapped his thigh and said, "You know you wanna."
Jill said yes, picked up her dress and said, "Let's have some fun!"
Silly ole Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a son.
What’s a priest's favorite sport?
Golf, because most of the holes are less than 18.
What does weed and the Carolina Panthers have in common?
They both get smoked in bowls.
I made a playlist for hiking. It has music from Peanuts, the Cranberries, and Eminem.
I call it my trail mix.
What's an Emo's favorite game? Hangman.
Why do orphans like to play tennis?
Because that’s the only love they will get.
Why do some people hate camping?
It's in tents.
I can’t take my dog to the park anymore.
Why?
The ducks keep trying to eat him.
Why would they do that?
Because he’s pure-bread.
My favorite thing to do in libraries is put cookbooks in the women’s sports section.
What’s the difference between video games and my dad?
My dad doesn’t beat me.