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Bathroom scale

    • A woman noticed her husband standing on a bathroom scale, sucking in his stomach. "Ha! That's not going to help!" she said. "Sure it does," he said. "It's the only way I can see the numbers."

  • 4
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    Man

    • I'm funny but sad, I submit jokes you'll love. Look for my name in jokes you've read. Anyway.

    What did the man with no hands get for his birthday? Gloves. Just kidding, he didn't have the chance to open the gifts.

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    • Lego

    • I was with my blind friend, and he's telling me, "Yeah, I can read braille." So I hand him a Lego brick and ask him to read it. Apparently, Lego has been hiding a dark secret from us for years; as all their bricks read, "Screw you, asshole."

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    Community talk

    • Guys, I know this is crazy lady talk, but please just bare with me. I'm worried I obviously believe in some very conterversal things, so just yeah wtvr.

    Witches and spiritual people all over have agreed that they have a bad or off feeling. Like the feeling you get when something bad is going to happen, something big. Not all, but so fucking many. Theres this person, she made what she called a "Justice jar" for peo… Read more

    • "Finally reading the new book and it's making me feel good There's blood in my cheeks again, my handwriting's changing To be more like hers, 'cause she's who I am now She's more than a part of me, she was in the shadows that's so hard to see I get lovelier each morning, don't I? When death becomes calm, when my life is a storm I will freak myself out, nothing freaks me out more I'm scared to look down, there's blood on the floor Yes, I know I'm alive, as I'm cutting the chord" <333

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