Read Jokes

How are the faster readers in the world

911 victims the read 80 stories in 10 seconds

Why was I angry on my plane, because I read these stupid 9/11 jokes

What do cows read the moospaper

have you read 50 yards to the outhouse by: Willie Makeit and Probly Not

An unfortunate accident happend at the nestlè factory,a man nammed joe was seriously injourd because a box of choclates fell on him. Every time he said "The choclates are on me!" every one cheerid.

Thank you for reading if you use this on another catagory please give me credit by saying my name at the end. P.s my name is None of your buissnes. Seriously.

8:45 PM
When your childs born
aucoustic
Don't ever text me again
or I'll call the cops
Read 11:47 AM

I got a dig bick.
You that read wrong.
You read that wrong too.

hi i have a question for you

did u know that reading this is wasting your time? yeh sorry xD

what do you get when you mix an apple with water... applesauce wait do not leave yet if you are still reading this you have been rekt ha ha at least im still laughing.

My friend Arid asked me what I did over the weekend. I told him Arid

Get it? I read? no... ok.

I was reading this in class and laughed at loud, i had to clear all my history of jokes

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little
bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the
Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids
on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am
trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire
US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another
target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of
which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my
fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that
shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we
speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across
the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better
prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the
pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead,
kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over
seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands.
Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I
have access to the entire arsenal of the United States
Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your
miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If
only you could have known what unholy retribution your
little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you,
maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you
couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you
goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown
in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.

What do u call someone with a small dick... whoever is reading this 😉

what does a kid who has autism and reading have in common?

absolutely nothing.

(This format is probably easier to read)

-Dude, What is your favorite rapper?

-He is very cold blooded

-Why?

-He is Ice Cube

Three sons left home, went out into the world and each of them made a lot of money. During a reunion, they discussed the gifts they'd given to their elderly mum.

'I built a big house for our mum,' said the first.

'I sent her a Mercedes, with a chauffeur,' said the second.

And the third smiled and said, 'I think my gift was the best. You know how much mum enjoyed reading the Bible? And you know that her eyes aren't so good anymore? Well, I sent her a remarkable cockatoo that recites the entire Bible, both old and new testaments. It took a priest twelve years to teach him. That cockatoo is the only one in the world that can do it. All mum has to do is name the chapter and verse, and the cockatoo recites it.'

A few days later, mum sent out her thankyou letters. She wrote to the first son,

'The house you built is so enormous that I only live in one room. The trouble is, I have to clean the whole house.'

To the second son she said, 'I'm far too old to travel anymore. I stay at home most of the time, so I've hardly used the Mercedes. In any case, the driver is so rude.'

To the third son she wrote 'Dearest Freddie. You have the good sense to know what your mum likes. The chicken was delicious!'

What do you call a rapper who LOVES to read?

50 Cents of Gray

9/11 hahahahaha Lawrence I hope you read this

being in a band without a pencil is as easy as reading snare drum music

Me: Bomber333 is the imposter! Other Crewmate: Why do you say that as if you know who the imposter is with 100% certainty? Then he read my username, and knew.