Rain

Rain jokes

Skeleton

  • How did the skeleton know it was gonna rain?

    If you said he felt it in his bones, you're wrong. He watched the weather forecast.

    Mobile Phone

  • Q: How did the mobile phone propose to his girlfriend?

    A: He gave her a ring.

    Q: What’s the most popular video game at the bread bakery?

    A: Knead for Speed.

    Q: Why is Santa good at karate?

    A: He has a black belt.

    Q: Where do werewolves buy Christmas gifts?

    A: Beast Buy.

    Q: What did the snowflake say to the road?

    A: Let’s stick together.

    Q: Why did the turkey join a band?

    A: So he could use his drumsticks.

    Q: What’s a math teacher’s favorite winter sport?

    A: Figure skating.

    Q: Where do werewolves buy Christmas gifts?

    A: Beast Buy.

    Q: What did the snowflake say to the road?

    A: Let’s stick together.

    Q: Why did the turkey join a band?

    A: So he could use his drumsticks.

    Q: What’s a math teacher’s favorite winter sport?

    A: Figure skating.

    Q: What’s a firefly’s favorite dance?

    A: The glitterbug.

    Q: Why are eyeshadow, lipstick, and mascara never mad at each other?

    A: Because they always make-up.

    Q: Where do roses sleep at night?

    A: In their flowerbed.

    Q: Why was the shoe bad at gymnastics?

    A: She was a flip-flop.

    Q: What should you wear to a tea party?

    A: A t-shirt.

    Q: What’s rain’s favorite accessory?

    A: A rainbow.

    Q: Where does a sink go dancing?

    A: The Dish-co.

    Q: What’s a princess’s favorite time?

    A: Knight time.

    Q: Why did the Genie get mad?

    A: Because he was rubbed the wrong way.

    Q: What’s a ballerina’s favorite type of bread?

    A: A bun.

    Q: What kind of dance was the frog prince best at?

    A: Hip hop.

    Q: What do bunnies like to do at the mall?

    A: Shop ‘til they hop.

    Q: How did the beauty school student do on her manicure test?

    A: She nailed it.

    Q: What is corn’s favorite music?

    A: Pop.

    Q: Why can’t Monday lift Saturday?

    A: It’s a weak day.

    Q: Why was the politician out of breath?

    A: He was running for office.

    Q: What is a soccer player’s favorite chemical element?

    A: Goooooooooooold!

    Q: Why did the fastest cat in class get kicked out of school?

    A: He was a cheetah.

    Q: Which state has the greatest number of jokes?

    A: Pennsylvania.

    Q: Where is the best place to sit when a submarine is diving?

    A: Inside.

    Q: Why did the lawyer show up in court in his underwear?

    A: He forgot his lawsuit.

    Q: Why was the teenager no longer allowed online without a license?

    A: He crashed the computer.

    Q: What’s a ball that you don’t throw, shoot, eat, spit, bounce, or catch?

    A: An eyeball.

    Q: What do turtles, eggs, and beaches all have?

    A: Shells.

    Q: What time of year do people get injured the most?

    A: In the fall.

    Q: Why did the quarterback take the hardest classes?

    A: Because he knew he would pass.

    Q: Why did the musician throw away her table?

    A: Because it was flat.

    Q: Why didn’t the farmer's son study medicine?

    A: Because he wanted to go into a different field.

    Q: What is the math teacher’s favorite dessert?

    A: Pi.

    Q: Why was the princess in the emergency room?

    Diss track

  • It was 2017, and lots of people were hating RiceGum because he released "Frick Da Police," a diss track insulting Idubbbz's Content Cop video on RiceGum.

    A few hours after the diss track was released, someone went to Rice's house and spray painted "Asian Jake Paul" on the wall of the front of his house.

    Rice went to "meet" Idubbbz, then he saw the graffiti.

    "WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEREEEEEEEEEEEEEE?"

    Hours later, police found 4 suspects.

    "Explain."

    Sus 1: I don't vandalize.

    Sus 2: I was staying indoors because it was rainy.

    Sus 3: I fucking hate RiceGum, but I would not ruin his cheap ass house lol.

    Sus 4: I eat bricks.

    Police: I know who.

    RiceGum: Who?

    Police: ITS-

    807907070707007607865909685780970695067586708650968095768076895708769875660980765970659062870907965607867856067586908

    Notice anything in the number crowd?

    Comment the answer below and I will see who is correct.

  • 7
  • Day

  • It's been raining for days. My wife is totally depressed. She keeps looking through the window. If this keeps up, I'll have to let her in.

  • 9
  • Community talk

    Poll ·
  • According to the last post, voters picked Jamal to "Hide in a nearby gay strip club".

    *THIS STORY HAS GRAPHIC CONTENT, DO NOT CONTINUE READING IF YOU'RE OFFENDED BY ANY OF THE JOKES*

    Episode 2: The Sticky Situation – "Ebony Ass Shake in the F*g Den"

    Jamal sprints his black ass into "Rainbow Rodeo," a sleazy queer joint packed with flaming white twinks, burly bears, and thirsty Latinos eyeing fresh meat. The bounce… Read more

  • Dear Sarah,

    Your last comment was 3 days ago. You use your phone about 3-4 hours daily. You have a boyfriend, and possibly are in the field of medicine, although I can't be sure. You're right handed. (By "possibly" in the field of medicine I mean you don't seem to be in it yet, but you may be working towards it.) Ok, so you're definitely not in the field yet and are most likely in high school. You like horror, and y… Read more