Put jokes
Why did the Vampire put his son up for adoption?
He thought his son sucked!
Me running from the principal because I put ten woman's rights books in the fictional section!
Yo mama is so dumb, she put speed bumps on the race track.
Why did two dumb blondes put condoms on the cow's udders because they wanted the cow to practice safe sex?
This morning, I was in the kitchen, and I saw a whole bunch of leftover brownies made from scratch. I just tasted one and spit it out because somebody put some goddamn weed in them, what the fuck!
Once upon a time, there was a woman named Sarah who woke up one morning to find her husband and his wheelchair missing. She searched high and low, but they were nowhere to be found. Desperate to find them, she put up posters all over town offering a reward.
I’m reading a book on antigravity right now.
It’s impossible to put down.
How do you make Alabama cookies?
Put them in a big bowl and beat for three hours.
Because all I do is pound it, man. I would put you on my "600 Pound Life" if you didn't weigh 1,000.
I put my leg up in the air sometimes, singing ayo, I'm a flamingo...
What's the difference between a baby and a pizza?
One does not crow when you put it in an oven.
A duck walks into a bar and buys everyone a round. He tells the bartender, “Put it on my bill.”
Yo mama is so fat that when she put on a yellow dress, people called her "taxi."
Last night I remember partying with friends to find blood on my nightstand.
Moments after, I scolded my friends to put my alarm clock back where they found it.
Do you put a baby in the microwave covered or uncovered?
Covered, it can take weeks to clean up the explosion.
What do you do after you eat the softest pussy in the world?
Put the diapers back on.
How do you know when you are dating a cannibal?
You go to the beach, he offers to put suntan oil on you, and the brand name is Wesson.
You are having sex and he says he wants to eat your a$$ and you notice he is holding a knife and fork.
He invites you to his home to use the hot tub and it is heated by a wood fire.
You are having an argument and you say "bite me" and he starts to sharpen his teeth.
Note to all.
My name is Lariah. Lariah Carla Brown, 14 years old and I am 1 of triplets. I don't understand how rape jokes are funny, and I just want to make that statement clear. I also hate orphan jokes because I WAS one. Notice when I put WAS! I also see jokes about cancer, now I know you can't be kidding. You know that cancer is a disease that many people get and could die from, so you are just wrong about that!
How do you put a baby alien to sleep?
You rocket. 🚀🚀🚀
Hi, you guys don't know me, but I have my best interests at heart.
I'm a kind person who wants to put a stop to the bullying. I think that Gwen, Addison Banks, Watersharky, ect. are kind people! Also, I kinda like Watersharky...
When you put the chicken in the oven, it goes down, and the oven explodes. The oven and smoke and everything is fire and on fire and flies to the grass, and all goes back.