Put jokes
I put my leg up in the air sometimes, singing ayo, I'm a flamingo...
Yo mama is so fat that when she put on a yellow dress, people called her "taxi."
How do you make Alabama cookies?
Put them in a big bowl and beat for three hours.
Last night I remember partying with friends to find blood on my nightstand.
Moments after, I scolded my friends to put my alarm clock back where they found it.
A duck walks into a bar and buys everyone a round. He tells the bartender, “Put it on my bill.”
Why do orphans live on the street?
They don't have parents to put a roof over their head.
Why did the Vampire put his son up for adoption?
He thought his son sucked!
Because all I do is pound it, man. I would put you on my "600 Pound Life" if you didn't weigh 1,000.
Me running from the principal because I put ten woman's rights books in the fictional section!
Yo mama is so dumb, she put speed bumps on the race track.
Why did two dumb blondes put condoms on the cow's udders because they wanted the cow to practice safe sex?
Do you put a baby in the microwave covered or uncovered?
Covered, it can take weeks to clean up the explosion.
This morning, I was in the kitchen, and I saw a whole bunch of leftover brownies made from scratch. I just tasted one and spit it out because somebody put some goddamn weed in them, what the fuck!
I’m reading a book on antigravity right now.
It’s impossible to put down.
What do you do after you eat the softest pussy in the world?
Put the diapers back on.
How do you know when you are dating a cannibal?
You go to the beach, he offers to put suntan oil on you, and the brand name is Wesson.
You are having sex and he says he wants to eat your a$$ and you notice he is holding a knife and fork.
He invites you to his home to use the hot tub and it is heated by a wood fire.
You are having an argument and you say "bite me" and he starts to sharpen his teeth.
Note to all.
My name is Lariah. Lariah Carla Brown, 14 years old and I am 1 of triplets. I don't understand how rape jokes are funny, and I just want to make that statement clear. I also hate orphan jokes because I WAS one. Notice when I put WAS! I also see jokes about cancer, now I know you can't be kidding. You know that cancer is a disease that many people get and could die from, so you are just wrong about that!
I was reading a book about gravity. It was so hard to put down!
Stephen Hawking didn’t die naturally, his carer just forgot to put him on charge.
I don't know why my blind kid is crying, but I think it could be the tacks I put on the couch.