Put jokes

I'll kill a bitch like the policeman did to that white woman. He chopped her up and put her in the woods, the suck fuck.

I got fired for not doing enough work.

Guess I didn’t put enough backbone into it.

Your face needs to be put in the trash so people don't need to suffer.

Why haven't they put Stephen Hawking in charge yet?

Can I put my balls in your jaw <3?

How do you put a baby in the blender feet first so you can see its facial expressions?

How do you get it out? Tortilla chip.

Guys, I know this is kinda weird, but everyone who wants to... Put your name and your age in the comment section. Not address though because that would not be good for creepers... Lol I am Lucy and I am 15 years old. What about you guys? :D

Your computer just went in my bathroom and took a shit because you put too much chili in the bowl.

Because all I do is pound it, man, I would put you on my 600 lb life if you didn't weigh a thousand.

What is sex? You put a sex person in someone’s sex.

What do you call an iPhone put into a smoothie maker?--An Apple smoothie.

Once I read a book about glue.

I couldn't put it down.

Put Helen Keller in George Floyd's position. How would she cry out for help? Would she just moan, or would she try to do sign language?

"How does dry skin affect you at work?""You don’t have any elbow grease to put into it."

I locked Terri Schiavo in the freezer.

Hey, I thought that's where you were supposed to put vegetables!

Unless Israel wants to become Hell Aviv, it would put itself on a tight leash, delivered specially from Uncle Sam.

How do you play chess with a Catholic?

You put a condom on the bishop.

This dude is so fat, wearing the same damn clothes every day. Every time he turns around, it's his graduation day. He forgot to put a boomerang on his pants because they don't even fit anymore. Last time I saw him coming down the street, it was in a bucket of Popeye's chicken, extra crispy.

CEO Intrepid entrepreneur born in 1964, Jeffrey, Jeffrey Bezos.

Repeat, come on Jeffrey, you can do it, pave the way, put your back into it, tell us why, show us how, look at where you came from, look at you now.

Zuckerberg and Gates and Musk, they're the anchors, can make and sick it up there with drink their blood, come on Jeff get it! Dododoododododod

Jim walks into a bar and asks for a shot of vodka. He then says to the barkeep, "Who's the toughest guy in here?"

The barkeep points to a man at the pool table. Jim then knocked him out and paid for the shot and left. He did this every Friday for 2 months. Finally, the barkeep is pissed because Jim keeps knocking out all of his customers. He then orders a gorilla and puts him in the bathroom.

Jim walks into the bar and gets another shot of vodka. He asks again, "Who's the toughest guy in here tonight?" The bartender points to the bathroom and says he's in there. Jim walks into the bathroom and everyone in the bar can hear yelling and screaming. The bartender asks, "What happened in there?" Jim smiles and says, "I don't know who that was, but when he wakes up tell him I put his fur jacket in the toilet."