Put jokes

Why do cops never put orphans in jail?

Because they aren't wanted.

"Hitler and Goring are standing atop the Berlin radio tower. Hitler says he wants to do something to put a smile on Berliners' faces.

So Goring says: 'Why don't you jump?'"

You're so much like a marshmallow, you're so squishy and sticky, and everyone puts their sticks inside of you.

Yo mama's so stupid, she put airbags on her computer in case it crashed.

Yo momma so stupid, when someone got cardiac arrest, she tried to put the person to court, and when the judge said "ORDER AT THE COURT," she thought it's a food court and ordered 20 Big Macs and got a heart attack.

Q: How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? A: They put a plunger in the toilet.

Q: How many kids did Helen Keller have? A: None, the plunger went all the way up.

Guys, I know this is kinda weird, but everyone who wants to... Put your name and your age in the comment section. Not address though because that would not be good for creepers... Lol I am Lucy and I am 15 years old. What about you guys? :D

Did you know that your son has been deeper inside of your wife than you have...unless you put the coat hanger up there?

How do you put a baby in the blender feet first so you can see its facial expressions?

How do you get it out? Tortilla chip.

Your computer just went in my bathroom and took a shit because you put too much chili in the bowl.

What do superheroes put in their drinks?

Just ice.

Because all I do is pound it, man, I would put you on my 600 lb life if you didn't weigh a thousand.

What is sex? You put a sex person in someone’s sex.

What do you call an iPhone put into a smoothie maker?--An Apple smoothie.

How do you make a tissue dance?

You put a little boogie in it.

I'll put white in your smile.

Unless Israel wants to become Hell Aviv, it would put itself on a tight leash, delivered specially from Uncle Sam.

How do you play chess with a Catholic?

You put a condom on the bishop.

I locked Terri Schiavo in the freezer.

Hey, I thought that's where you were supposed to put vegetables!

What's your mom and a dog got in common?

Both will lick dick if you put peanut butter on it.