Puns
Hey, Hunger Games... I'm full!!
This ain't your mama's monologue.
Knock knock. Who's there? Hal. Hal who? Hal will you know if you don't open the door?
One day, there was an ugly barnacle. It was so ugly that everyone died. The end!
#1: What are you doing?
#2: Watching a movie.
#1: Oh, I know why, because you move-ie.
President Joseph Biden said during the first presidential debate of the 2024 presidential election that he does not debate as well as he used to. Mr. Biden also can't think as well as he used to either, but then again when Mr. Biden was a United States senator in the state of Delaware he never could think because thinking was never one of his strengths and that is the reason why Mr. Biden became President Obama's vice president in the first place.
Oh well, that's politics.
I drove past Wendy’s the other day. No other stores were open, so I asked, “Wendy’s openin’ then?”
What do you get when you cross a penis and a potato? A dick tater.
Don't tell a Titanic joke, or you'll sink to a whole new low.
What did the paintings name their daughter?
Palette.
Rainbows top the class, as they always score with flying colors.
What did the fish say before he hit the wall? -- "Oh, dam."
My Llama's cousin sucks at going on vacation.
He just stands there; "I'll pack uhhhh...."
What do you get when someone named Victoria falls? A Victoria Falls!
I would tell you my jokes about pogs, but they would eventually get too boar-ing.
What do you call cows that have a sense of humor? -- Laughing stock.
Who do you call to clean up foul language?
A cuss-todian!
Three kids one day found a magical slide. There was a sign next to it saying, “Whatever you wish for comes true once you slide down.” One kid stepped up and slid down. He wished for a river of chocolate, thus he swam in a chocolate river.
The second kid slid down and wished for a mountain of money. He then landed in a pile of money. The third kid went down and said, “Weeeeeeee!”
What did the pencil say to the other pencil? Your looking sharp!
Why did the guitarist go to prison?
'Cause he fingered A minor.
What did Hermione say when she pantsed someone?
"Wow, Harry!"