Puns
Me and my receding hairline? Believe me, we go way back.
Q: Why did the fault line start acting crazy?
A: Because it was on crack.
What do you call someone who makes a joke about Bread society?
The Doughker.
Can I branch out to some tree puns? Willow you allow me it’s only fur. No? Oakome on!
One day, a snail got robbed by two turtles. Once the cops arrived and asked what had happened, the snail said, "I don't know, it all happened too fast!"
I dropped my phone the other day when a guy picked up my phone and started to put it in his pocket.
I said, "Hey, that's my phone," and he said, "First of all, my name isn't 'Hey', it's Jay. Second of all, it's an iPhone, not a 'myPhone'. Get it right."
What happens when a skeleton does not laugh at your pun?
Looks like someone's funny bone is broken. 😁
Why did the guitarist go to prison?
'Cause he fingered A minor.
New Orleans cuisine has always been my favorite; however, I only eat gumbo on oc-cajun.
Once there was this Whichdoctor. He walked barefoot most of the time, which gave him impressive calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, and the food gave him bad breath, which made him (wait for it) a Super Callused Fragile Mystic Hexed By Halitosis.
I started a band called 999 megabytes... we still haven't gotten a gig.
What do stomata use to fill their pools?
Chlor-ine.
What did the bald man exclaim when he received a comb for a present?
Samuel liked Batman when he was a kid.
He still is a kid.
The irony of metal jokes is pretty fun. But it leads to a lot of people stealing them.
What do super fancy music conductors wear?
A Louis baton.
What do you call a friendly noise? A sound wave.
What did Harry Houdini say when he did his famous vanishing act at a sushi place?
"Now sashimi, now you don't!"
The invention of the shovel was groundbreaking.
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered 6 offender.