Puns
I asked a Japanese chef how to make a good bowl of ramen, he said "Let me show you."
In a normal country, they have lemonade. In Soviet Russia, they have Leninade: "Refresh yourself with a cold war."
I heard the man who invented Autocorrect died; may he rest in peace.
Who is the only person time waits for? Nun.
When I was a boy, I had a disease that required me to eat dirt three times a day in order to survive... It's a good thing my older brother told me about it.
What does Stephen Hawking say after sex? That was wheely good.
Why does Ms. Mushroom 🍄 go out with Mr. Mushroom 🍄?
Because he’s a fungi.
My ex still misses me... But her aim is getting better every time!
I would say a good joke, but all the good ones Argon.
I was going to write a corny joke, but those are a bit too EAR-itating.
Have you heard the latest pun about pizza?
Never mind. It’s too cheesy!
Q: Why did the two gate-builders start fighting?
A: Because they were fencing.
How is baseball like cake?
They both need batters.
What do you call a banana eating a banana?
Canabananalism.
When is a piece of wood made king?
When it's a ruler.
What do you call a depressed tree?
A wood cutter.
Jokes about menstruation are not funny. Period.
What does a queen want on her cookie?
Royal Icing.
Somebody told me a chemistry joke. I thought it was sodium funny, I slapped my neon that one.
Why did the cow cross the road?
To get to the udder side.