Puns
I heard the man who invented Autocorrect died; may he rest in peace.
Who is the only person time waits for? Nun.
What does Stephen Hawking say after sex? That was wheely good.
What kind of bee can't fly?
A KOBE.
Why does Ms. Mushroom 🍄 go out with Mr. Mushroom 🍄?
Because he’s a fungi.
My ex still misses me... But her aim is getting better every time!
I was going to write a corny joke, but those are a bit too EAR-itating.
I would say a good joke, but all the good ones Argon.
When I was a boy, I had a disease that required me to eat dirt three times a day in order to survive... It's a good thing my older brother told me about it.
In a normal country, they have lemonade. In Soviet Russia, they have Leninade: "Refresh yourself with a cold war."
Have you heard the latest pun about pizza?
Never mind. It’s too cheesy!
Q: Why did the two gate-builders start fighting?
A: Because they were fencing.
How is baseball like cake?
They both need batters.
When is a piece of wood made king?
When it's a ruler.
What do you call a banana eating a banana?
Canabananalism.
Jokes about menstruation are not funny. Period.
What does a queen want on her cookie?
Royal Icing.
Somebody told me a chemistry joke. I thought it was sodium funny, I slapped my neon that one.
Why did the cow cross the road?
To get to the udder side.
What is Michael Jackson's favorite planet? Uranus.