Puns
When my friend eats a mint, I say, "Hey, is it mint to be sweet?"
What does a 911 call receiver say when they get a call?
"9 Juan Juan, who this?"
"Tibia" honestly, I think the reason I’m "bonely" is because you guys don’t find my jokes "humerus."
Maybe if I played the trombone it would get people’s attention, but "tibia" honest I can’t be bothered, so just look at my "BONE-zai" tree, although my brother doesn’t really like that one, so how about a "S-pine" tree?
What color is a burp?
Burple!
Notice on a shoe repair shop: I’ll heel you, I’ll save your sole, I’ll even gladly dye for you.
Orange: Hey.
Pear: Hey.
Orange: No hay!
I walked in a sushi bar, and the sushi chef looked very o-fish-all!
Hey God, what are you making?
Just a wooden stick that lights on fire.
Sounds like a match made in heaven.
What do you call a rude math teacher with a lisp?
A mathive dick.
"Lettuce" stop making vegetable puns. We don't carrot all about them and they're not a-peas-ing.
How do you organize a space party?
You planet.
What's black and white and red all over?
The darkness of your heart, the dishonor of your lies, and the embarrassment you feel when busted for both.
What did Onett and Threed reply to their child?
"I love you Twoson."
You are shore to find loads of jokes funny even if I can’t kelp you find the right ones.
Loads of jokes are funny as I’m shore you shall sea.
Patient: Doctor, I feel like a needle.
Doctor: I see your point!
Which bees produce milk?
Boobies.
One knight, a king, and a queen went fishing. They each caught one fish, so how did three fish end up in the bucket?
One "knight"!!!
What did the mechanic say to the other mechanic when he broke the car?
"How will we wrench ourselves out of this?"
Why did the sea cry?
Because it felt salty and blue.
My mom told me she couldn't open the garage door. Then it opened up to me that it wasn't broke anymore.