Tree

Why should you stay away from trees? - Because they wanna be leafed alone.

Gravity

You're probably getting tired of these gravity jokes... but I keep falling for them every time.

Police

Police arrested a man who dropped his phone in the ocean. The was charged with a salt in battery.

Kobe

I would tell jokes about Kobe, but they would just crash and burn.

Cannibal

A missionary was caught by cannibals. He was tied up and thrown into a big pot. The cannibals were chopping up vegetables and throwing them into the pot with the missionary. When they lit the fire under the pot, the missionary said, "You can't stew me. I'm a friar."

Bar

Three men walk into a bar... you would have thought the last one would have ducked.

  • 0
  • Avocado

    What do you call a fruit that argues against the position it supports?

    The Devil's advocado.

    Draw

    What did the two paintings say after a long battle?

    Let's call this one a draw.

  • 0
  • 1
  • Hammer

    You know the drill, but do you know the hammer? Hah, nailed that one.

    But I also think I screwed it up.

    Nut

    What do you call nuts on your chest? Chestnuts.

    What do you call nuts on the wall? Walnuts.

    What do you call nuts on your chin? A blowjob.

  • 4