Puns
What do you call a kid watching Star Wars by themselves?
Hans Solo.
What do you call a fruit that argues against the position it supports?
The Devil's advocado.
Why should you stay away from trees? - Because they wanna be leafed alone.
What do you tell a dead metal fan?
Rust in peace.
You're probably getting tired of these gravity jokes... but I keep falling for them every time.
Police arrested a man who dropped his phone in the ocean. The was charged with a salt in battery.
A missionary was caught by cannibals. He was tied up and thrown into a big pot. The cannibals were chopping up vegetables and throwing them into the pot with the missionary. When they lit the fire under the pot, the missionary said, "You can't stew me. I'm a friar."
Three men walk into a bar... you would have thought the last one would have ducked.
What do you call nuts on your chest? Chestnuts.
What do you call nuts on the wall? Walnuts.
What do you call nuts on your chin? A blowjob.
What country do French Fries come from? Grease.
Can a match box? No, but a tin can.
A cow is at his friend's house for a sleepover party. Sadly, all of the beds are taken. Where does the cow sleep?
On the COWch (couch).
Have you heard of the Tic-Tac-Toe Beetle? It has an X-O-skeleton.
Wanted to get the scoop on history of ice cream, so I went to Sunday school.
What's the difference between a snow woman and snow man?
Snowballs.
What did the two paintings say after a long battle?
Let's call this one a draw.
What road goes all the way to the sky? A highway.
What type of lettuce did they serve on the Titanic? - Iceberg.
Why doesn't Jesus buy beer?
Hebrews.
You know the drill, but do you know the hammer? Hah, nailed that one.
But I also think I screwed it up.