Puns
A Texan and an Alaskan walk in a room. The Alaskan says, "My state is bigger than yours." The Texan says, "It won't be when it melts!"
Wanna hear a pun?
Welp, I'll punch you with one!
Want to hear a pun?
Well, I'll punch you with one!
Why did the toilet paper cross the road?
It was on a roll.
Son: Hey Dad, can I play Fortnite?
Dad: I don't know, do you want a girlfriend?
Where do Dairy Queen and Burger King go after dinner?
White Castle.
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender said, "Why the long face?"
I had a dream of swimming in an ocean of orange soda. I guess it is just a FANTAsea.
A pecan is motivated because pe-can do anything.
What side of the sidewalk do crazy people walk on? The psych-o-path.
Enough with the Hitler jokes. They make me Fuhrer-ious!
Two men walk into a bar, no clue how they didn't see it.
What is the chair's favorite person?
A sit-izen.
Yesterday I went to a lightbulb party, and it was lit.
Why do people drink Starbucks? Because it's too hot to handle!
What is Michael Jordan's favorite coffee place? Dunkin' Donuts.
How do you knockout an unorthodox blue tooth?
You get a good connection.
A lumberjack goes to a person's house.
Then he realized the tree was too big and was stumped and had to leaf.
What do you call a tall, affluent person? A big success.
"If all of these structures break we will all die."
And I said, "Hey, that is not supportive!"
And he said, "It would be breaking news."