Puns
I was going to tell you a joke about a pencil, but now it is pointless.
What is Bill Gates’ favorite equation?
1 + 1 =
What do you say to toast with bad shoes?
"Butter those."
Why did the bike fall over?
Because it was two tired!
What's green and is dangerous?
Kermit with a flip knife.
Where was Moses when the lights went out? - In the dark!
What did the piggy bank say to his piggy friend?
"Ain't you got no cents?"
Piggy: "Actually, no. Just pork."
What do you call an elf that sings? A Wrapper.
You have been a bad boy, so now I will have to pun-ish you!
Goats are so lazy these days. Computers have more RAM.
Do you know what I found in my letter soup?
A space.
I lick cows for my mother.
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What do you call someone who farts in public? A private tutor.
If there was someone selling drugs around here, we'd know.
A dog talks to another dog and says,
"Wow, you're a hot dog!"
"Time"? More like waiting.
Man: I got fired from my job at the calendar factory.
Lady: What did you do?
Man: I took a day off...
Don't tell a Titanic joke, or you'll sink to a whole new low.
What would the Mandalorian be called if it was made in an aquatic center?
Mandachlorian.