Puns
I tried to find my watch I lost last week, but I didn't have the time.
What's the difference between dad jokes and bad jokes?
The letter b.
What do you call a mushroom that makes music?
A decomposer.
A Texan and an Alaskan walk in a room. The Alaskan says, "My state is bigger than yours." The Texan says, "It won't be when it melts!"
Want to hear a pun?
Well, I'll punch you with one!
Wanna hear a pun?
Welp, I'll punch you with one!
Why did the toilet paper cross the road?
It was on a roll.
Son: Hey Dad, can I play Fortnite?
Dad: I don't know, do you want a girlfriend?
Where do Dairy Queen and Burger King go after dinner?
White Castle.
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender said, "Why the long face?"
What do you call a bunch of Aboriginals rolling down a hill?
Abo-lanche.
What do you call it when you get away with masturbating in the shower?
You got off clean.
Do you know why I hate pedophiles?
They are fucking immature kids!
I had a dream of swimming in an ocean of orange soda. I guess it is just a FANTAsea.
A pecan is motivated because pe-can do anything.
Why did the toad cross the road?
To show his girlfriend he had guts.
What’s the most artistic fruit?
Vincent mango.
What do you call a tall, affluent person? A big success.
I told a seal a joke, it went like this: "Why did the kid cross the playground?" He said, "Why?" I said, "To get to the other slide." And then he said, "That's the sealiest thing I've ever heard!"
A pun, a play on words, and a limerick walk into a bar.
No joke!