Puns
How many fingers does the Dragonborn have?
Four fingers and a Thu'um.
What do you call a mushroom that makes music?
A decomposer.
A Texan and an Alaskan walk in a room. The Alaskan says, "My state is bigger than yours." The Texan says, "It won't be when it melts!"
Want to hear a pun?
Well, I'll punch you with one!
Wanna hear a pun?
Welp, I'll punch you with one!
Why did the toilet paper cross the road?
It was on a roll.
Son: Hey Dad, can I play Fortnite?
Dad: I don't know, do you want a girlfriend?
Where do Dairy Queen and Burger King go after dinner?
White Castle.
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender said, "Why the long face?"
Do you know why I hate pedophiles?
They are fucking immature kids!
I had a dream of swimming in an ocean of orange soda. I guess it is just a FANTAsea.
Why do people drink Starbucks? Because it's too hot to handle!
A man went to the doctor, and the doctor said, "What happened to you?"
The man replied and said, "I broke my arm in two places!"
Then the doctor replied with, "DON’T GO BACK TO THOSE TWO PLACES!!"
Yesterday I went to a lightbulb party, and it was lit.
What is a doll's favorite dog? A doll-matian.
"If all of these structures break we will all die."
And I said, "Hey, that is not supportive!"
And he said, "It would be breaking news."
What is the chair's favorite person?
A sit-izen.
Two men walk into a bar, no clue how they didn't see it.
Enough with the Hitler jokes. They make me Fuhrer-ious!
What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman?
Frostbite.