Puns
My brother wanted to sharpen my pencil. I told him he had a point.
What's an alien's favorite computer key?
The space bar!
I almost secretly married a watermelon, but I cantaloupe.
I used to work at a T-shirt factory before the company folded.
What happens when a clock is hungry?
It goes back four seconds.
Don’t fart in an Apple Store.
It has no Windows.
Where does the resistor go after a long day?
It goes Ohm.
Why was the baby ant confused?
Because its uncles were all aunts!
One day, I came home from school and said to my dad, "I got expelled from school today." He said, "How?" I said, "I threw my book at the teacher." He asked, "Why?" I told him, "We were doing an anti-bullying program, and my teacher said words can't hurt me, so I threw my dictionary at her."
What happens when you suck?
You succ.
Fishermen are the best at networking.
What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?
"Where's my tractor?"
What did the math book say to the other math book?
Wanna hear my problems?
Can I branch out to some tree puns? Willow you allow me it’s only fur. No? Oakome on!
You take care of chickens. Does that make you a chicken tender?
When my friend eats a mint, I say, "Hey, is it mint to be sweet?"
What do you call a cute door?
Adoorable.
Where did Johnny go after he wandered into a minefield?
Everywhere.
What do planets use to download music?
Nep-tunes.
What do you call a duck on drugs?
A quackhead.