what room does a ghost not want to be in?
the living room
What did Captain Picard say when he brought his sewing machine to the repairman? -- "Make it sew."
What do you call a fish with no eye?
Fsh.
There were two peanuts walking down an alley. One was assaulted
Where did Noah keep his bees? -- In the ark hives.
What is common in my AirPods and Titanic..... They sync properly ....
Did you hear that Daft Punk came out with a cook book?
It's called "One More Thyme"
Two scientists walk into a bar. One says ̈I want h20” the other said ̈ I want h20 too ̈ The second scientist died.
Why did piglet go to the bathroom? To search for Poo
Why doesnt kermit the frog get married? He doent like kermitment
One day I came home from school and said to my dad 'I got expelled from school today' he said ' how' I said I threw my book at the teacher' he asked why' I told him we were doing an anti-bullying program and my teacher said words can't hurt me so I threw my dictionary at her. '
A tiny psychic escaped from jail and the news said there a small medium at large.
Last Night I had a dream I was swimming in lemonade... turns out I peed the bed.
Broke my toenail yesterday, I'm now presenting you puns/jokes:
1. "Yeah I broke my toenail, wanna see phoTOES?" 2. "I'm tired of bandaging my toe! Oh. My. GAUZE."
I met a rock the other day. He was a very gneiss guy.
This Fairy Tail shirt is only $9.99! Guess you can say thats a fair retail.
What did the cannibal get when he showed up to the party late??
A cold shoulder
Why do mermaids wear seashells? They are too big for “B” shells, and too small for “D” shells.
I didn't like having long nails, but they're growing on me
What do you call a gun that doesn't kill anyone? -a VEGUN
