Puns

Wanna hear a pizza joke?

Never mind, it's too cheesy.

I'd tell you a joke about infinity, but I'm afraid it will never end.

I forgot what lightning was. Then it struck me.

I carried a magnet, then people found me very attracting.

I'd make a joke about pizza, but it's too cheesy. I know y'all have too thick of a crust to get it!

Today I heard someone playing "Dancing Queen" on the didgeridoo.

It was very Abba-riginal.

I went to the shops yesterday. I bought roast chicken, eggs, and duck. The cashier read $45.99. It was an egg-cellent price!

Why is it poetic when they have plenty of those German sandals in the store? Because they're Birkenstock.

Pineapple goes on pizza.

What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.

I have a skeleTON of jokes, but none of them are very humorous.

Mayonnaise marry me?

What do you call it when a watch has too many belts?

A waist of your time.

If you park your tow truck on the footpath, it'll get towed.

Boy: Have you heard of the cool kid who just told us he had autism?

Teacher: What?

Boy: Well... never mind, he's well supported.

My dog was hungry, so I let him loose outside while I filled his bowl.

I found out later that he was run over by a truck. It seemed to really hit the Spot.

Where do you go if you lost a pencil?

Office Works! They have solved loads of pencil cases.

Question: "You're-a-American" when you're not in the restroom and when you come out of the restroom. What are you when you're in the restroom?

Answer: European (You're-a-peein')

Bread?

Have you heard of the new book about anti-gravity?

Well, I just can't seem to put it down.