Puns
What nails do carpenters hate to hit?
Thumb nails.
I tried to catch fog, but I mist.
What do you get from a co-worker with epilepsy for being accused of harassment? A "seize" and desist letter.
Can February march? -- No, but April may.
A man is sitting in a chair. He is talking to the other friend about what they must cherish.
One says he cherishes his family, the other cherishes his parents, and a man comes in, points at the chair and says, “I CHAIRish my Chair” as he pulls up a chair.
Eagle: "You know why hunting me would be a bad idea?
Because it is ILL-EAGLE!"
Why did the chicken cross the road? It was running away from Kernel Sanders.
Hehehe
People who make puns always get pun-ched by people.
How does a turkey drive a car? He wings it.
How do you organize a space party?
You planet.
Are you made of Gallium and Yttrium?
Because you are looking a little bit GaY.
Hey, guess what I got for my birthday.
No, what did you get? Older.
Have you heard about the animal that was made of a human hand?
It's an ARMadillo.
I tried to make a pun about cheese, but I couldn't think of any good "whey" to do it.
One day me and my friend Howard the duck went into the bar. I ordered a drink. Howard told the waiter to put it on his... BILL.
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You'll end up DEAD if you don't stop COFFIN!!!
Don't you hate it when you sit on your balls? It's a real nutcracker!
I walked in a sushi bar, and the sushi chef looked very o-fish-all!
Are you enjoying my yolks? I bet they're making you crack up. If not, I better scramble.