Puns
Why is it poetic when they have plenty of those German sandals in the store? Because they're Birkenstock.
Pineapple goes on pizza.
What has four wheels and flies?
A garbage truck.
I have a skeleTON of jokes, but none of them are very humorous.
Mayonnaise marry me?
Boy: Have you heard of the cool kid who just told us he had autism?
Teacher: What?
Boy: Well... never mind, he's well supported.
What do you call it when a watch has too many belts?
A waist of your time.
If you park your tow truck on the footpath, it'll get towed.
Question: "You're-a-American" when you're not in the restroom and when you come out of the restroom. What are you when you're in the restroom?
Answer: European (You're-a-peein')
Where do you go if you lost a pencil?
Office Works! They have solved loads of pencil cases.
Bread?
Have you heard of the new book about anti-gravity?
Well, I just can't seem to put it down.
My dog was hungry, so I let him loose outside while I filled his bowl.
I found out later that he was run over by a truck. It seemed to really hit the Spot.
In Australia, my jokes are high koala-ty.
Getting a book on pasta?
Yes. Just imagine the pastabilities there are!
What do you call a skeleton with no arms? An un-armed skeleton.
What is your true crush?
A soda crush.
Why did the chicken cross the road? It was running away from Kernel Sanders.
Hehehe
Breaking News! A plane crashes into a bridge.
You are American when you walk into the bathroom, and you are American when you walk out.
But do you know what you are when you're in the bathroom? European.