Puns
What activity do nuns and whores have in common?
Answer: Genuflection.
This is 15 first-year treating a swan.
Students return: "Without payment?"
The word "I die with many important problems."
Later, you answer this point: "DSD, rats?"
I went to the shops yesterday. I bought roast chicken, eggs, and duck. The cashier read $45.99. It was an egg-cellent price!
Why is it poetic when they have plenty of those German sandals in the store? Because they're Birkenstock.
Pineapple goes on pizza.
I have a skeleTON of jokes, but none of them are very humorous.
What has four wheels and flies?
A garbage truck.
Mayonnaise marry me?
What do you call it when a watch has too many belts?
A waist of your time.
If you park your tow truck on the footpath, it'll get towed.
Boy: Have you heard of the cool kid who just told us he had autism?
Teacher: What?
Boy: Well... never mind, he's well supported.
My dog was hungry, so I let him loose outside while I filled his bowl.
I found out later that he was run over by a truck. It seemed to really hit the Spot.
Question: "You're-a-American" when you're not in the restroom and when you come out of the restroom. What are you when you're in the restroom?
Answer: European (You're-a-peein')
Have you heard of the new book about anti-gravity?
Well, I just can't seem to put it down.
Where do you go if you lost a pencil?
Office Works! They have solved loads of pencil cases.
Bread?
In Australia, my jokes are high koala-ty.
Did you hear about the guy who made knock-knock jokes? He won the Nobel Prize.
Which category is glory in?
Cats.
A man walks into a bar and says, "Ouch!"