Did you hear about the fortune telling dwarf that escaped from prison?
Reports say there's a small medium at large!
I got a job as a pencil sharpener. I would tell you about it, but you wouldn't get the point.
I've decided to marry a pencil. I can't wait to introduce my parents to my bride 2B.
The experienced carpenter really nailed it, but the new guy screwed everything up.
Did you know that towels are the leading cause of dry skin?
Communist jokes aren't funny unless everyone gets them.
You want to hear some marriage jokes?
Don't worry, it's just a couple.
What do you call 2 octopuses that look exactly the same? -- Identical.
Why didn't anyone react when the king farted? -- It was a noble gas.
"How is your long distance relationship going?" -- "So far, so good."
Why did the blind man fall down the well?
He couldn't see that well.
Having sex in an elevator is wrong on so many levels.
Smaller babies may be delivered by a stork, but bigger ones need a crane.
What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college? -- "Bison."
Why did the library book go to the doctor?
It needed to be checked out.
Trees are so social. They're always branching out.
My friend gave me sugar for my birthday. She thought it was cheap; I thought it was pretty sweet.
What do you call those dead pieces of green stuff left in the bottom of a bowl of Caesar salad?
The last romaines. Now lettuce pray for them.
How does the man on the moon cut his hair?
Eclipses it!
Claustrophobic people are more productive thinking out of the box.
