Puns
If drinking alcohol makes you an alcoholic, does drinking Fanta make you fantastic?
What is the best thing about living in Switzerland? -- Well, the flag is a big plus.
My ex-wife still misses me. But her aim is steadily improving.
What do you call a calf that is in no way brave?
A coward.
What did the spaghetti say to the sauce? Pasta la vista!
I have tried coke; it is not my cup of tea.
You know why I don't buy Velcro items anymore?
They are a total rip off.
I wrote puns on a piece of paper like this:
P. P. P. P. U. U. U. U. N. N. N. N. S. S. S. S.
Then I showed them to my teacher, asking him what they had in common.
“They are all very tearable,” he replied.
Well, there is one person who gets it!
Thanks for explaining the word "many" to me. It means a lot.
What do you call it when a midget waves at you?
A microwave.
An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.
I once ate a watch. It was time consuming.
When my friend eats a mint, I say, "Hey, is it mint to be sweet?"
I took a pole today. 100% of the people in the tent were unhappy that it collapsed.
What's a car's favorite place to hang out?
A CARnival!
Jokes about menstruation are never funny, period!
Why did piglet go to the bathroom?
To search for Poo.
New Teslas don't come with a new car smell; they come with an Elon Musk.
How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
You look for the fresh prints.
Today someone was killed with a starter pistol. Police think it might be race related.