Puns

Yesterday I was in a wind storm.

Today my ears hurt. I guess the wind was ear-itating.

Why can't skeletons play church music?

Because they have no organs.

Don't trust atoms, they make up everything.

I have had an obsession with soap. Don’t worry, I am all clean now!

I hate how funerals are always at 9 a.m. -- I'm not really a mourning person.

Why didn't anyone react when the king farted? -- It was a noble gas.

Thanks for explaining the word "many" to me. It means a lot.

Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

How do you cut ancient Rome in half?

With a pair of Caesars.

The experienced carpenter really nailed it, but the new guy screwed everything up.

What's the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?

Snowballs.

What's Thanos' favorite game?

Half-life.

Smaller babies may be delivered by a stork, but bigger ones need a crane.

Why does Peter Pan always fly? Because he Neverlands.

I told my friend ten puns to see what one made him laugh. No pun in ten did.

What do you call a white bucket?

A pail.

If trees could kill you, they wood.

What did the lungs say to the cigar?

"You take my breath away..."

This Fairy Tail shirt is only $9.99! Guess you can say that's a fair retail.

What do you say to your sister when she's crying? -- "Are you having a crisis?"