I took a pole today. 100% of the people in the tent were unhappy that it collapsed.
Why do ghosts love elevators? They lift their spirits!
What unit of measurement is used on farms? Barn yards.
Where are average things manufactured?
The satisfactory!
A man walks into the taxidermist with two monkeys. The taxidermist asked if he wanted them mounted. The man said, "No. Shaking hands will be fine."
A man walked into a bar... He got seven stitches.
Your kid is so annoying, he makes his Happy Meal cry.
Knock knock! Who's there? Deja. Deja who? Knock knock!
What's the difference between a dirty bus station and a lobster with breast implants?
One is a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean.
What do you say when you see a pig making bread?
He's bacon.
What did one needle say to the other?
"You be looking sharp!"
How do you wake up Lady Gaga?
Poker Face.
What’s a bird’s favorite movie?
The Parrots of the Caribbean.
I love the way the Earth rotates.
It really makes my day!
You know, I got a SKELETON of these jokes. All are HUMERUS. Yeah, this gets under people’s SKIN, but I guess you could call their FUNNY BONE BROKEN! People try and hit me when this happens, luckily, I got THICK SKIN! Yeah, thanks for listening. Hope you got these puns down TO THE BONE!
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered 6 offender.
Why don’t they play poker in the jungle?
Too many cheetahs.
I don't put ketchup and mustard on my hotdog, I relish it.
Two men were bartering over a marble slab. A lot of counter-offers were made.
People are making apocalypse jokes like there's no tomorrow.
