Puns

A man walks into the taxidermist with two monkeys. The taxidermist asked if he wanted them mounted. The man said, "No. Shaking hands will be fine."

How much work does a skeleton get done? A SKELE-TON

A man walked into a bar....He got seven stitches.

I took a pole today. 100% of the people in the tent were unhappy that it collapsed.

Knock knock! Who's there? Deja Deja who? Knock knock

What's the difference between a dirty bus station and a lobster with breast implants? One is a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustation

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

What do you say when you see a pig making bread?

He's bacon.

Once there was this Whichdoctor, he walked barefoot most of the time which gave him impressive calluses on his feet. He also ate very little and the food gave him bad breath. Which made him (wait for it), A Super Callused Fragile Mystic Hexed By Halitosis.

How do you wake up lady gaga? Poker Face.

What did one needle say to the other?

"You be looking sharp"

What’s a bird’s favorite movie? The Parrots of the Caribbean.

I had a dog with an eating disorder. He wouldn’t eat any of my homework.

i love the way the earth rotates

it really makes my day

You know, I got a SKELETON, of these jokes, all are HUMERUS, yeah, this get’s Under people’s SKIN, but I guess you could call their FUNNY BONE BROKEN! People try and hit me when this happens, luckily, I got THICK SKIN! Yeah, thanks for listening, hope you got these puns down TO THE BONE!