Puns
What do you call a pineapple in a pun?
A Puneapple.
Why does Waldo wear stripes?
'Cause he doesn't want to be spotted.
How much work does a skeleton get done?
A SKELE-TON!
I took a pole today. 100% of the people in the tent were unhappy that it collapsed.
What did the momma grape say to the pappa grape?
"Raisin' our kids is usually pretty fun, but sometimes they get sunburn and I have to take them to the doctor for dry skin."
The crocodile just kept saying, "No!" He was in Da Nile!
Knock knock! Who's there? Deja. Deja who? Knock knock!
Your kid is so annoying, he makes his Happy Meal cry.
What do you say when you see a pig making bread?
He's bacon.
How do you wake up Lady Gaga?
Poker Face.
What did one needle say to the other?
"You be looking sharp!"
What’s a bird’s favorite movie?
The Parrots of the Caribbean.
I love the way the Earth rotates.
It really makes my day!
You know, I got a SKELETON of these jokes. All are HUMERUS. Yeah, this gets under people’s SKIN, but I guess you could call their FUNNY BONE BROKEN! People try and hit me when this happens, luckily, I got THICK SKIN! Yeah, thanks for listening. Hope you got these puns down TO THE BONE!
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered 6 offender.
Why don’t they play poker in the jungle?
Too many cheetahs.
I don't put ketchup and mustard on my hotdog, I relish it.
Two men were bartering over a marble slab. A lot of counter-offers were made.
People are making apocalypse jokes like there's no tomorrow.
What do you call a mouse that doesn't like being known about?
Anonymouse.