The crocodile just kept saying, "No!" He was in Da Nile!
Puns
A man walked into a bar... He got seven stitches.
A man walks into the taxidermist with two monkeys. The taxidermist asked if he wanted them mounted. The man said, "No. Shaking hands will be fine."
How much work does a skeleton get done?
A SKELE-TON!
What unit of measurement is used on farms? Barn yards.
I took a pole today. 100% of the people in the tent were unhappy that it collapsed.
Your kid is so annoying, he makes his Happy Meal cry.
Knock knock! Who's there? Deja. Deja who? Knock knock!
What's the difference between a dirty bus station and a lobster with breast implants?
One is a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean.
What do you say when you see a pig making bread?
He's bacon.
What did one needle say to the other?
"You be looking sharp!"
What’s a bird’s favorite movie?
The Parrots of the Caribbean.
How do you wake up Lady Gaga?
Poker Face.
I love the way the Earth rotates.
It really makes my day!
You know, I got a SKELETON of these jokes. All are HUMERUS. Yeah, this gets under people’s SKIN, but I guess you could call their FUNNY BONE BROKEN! People try and hit me when this happens, luckily, I got THICK SKIN! Yeah, thanks for listening. Hope you got these puns down TO THE BONE!
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered 6 offender.
Why don’t they play poker in the jungle?
Too many cheetahs.
I don't put ketchup and mustard on my hotdog, I relish it.
People are making apocalypse jokes like there's no tomorrow.
Two men were bartering over a marble slab. A lot of counter-offers were made.
