What kind of tea do wealthy people own?
Proper-Tea.
I've decided to marry a pencil. I can't wait to introduce my parents to my bride 2B.
Why did the skeleton not rob the bank?
He did not have the guts!
You want to hear some marriage jokes?
Don't worry it's just a couple.
My friends say they don’t like my skeleton puns.
I should put a little more backbone into them.
How much does a pirate pay for corn?
A buccaneer!
Q: Why do Norwegian ships have bar codes on them?
A: So when they come into port they can Scan-Da-Navy-In!
Claustrophobic people are more productive thinking out of the box.
Why didn't anyone react when the king farted? -- It was a noble gas.
Why did the coffee file a police report? -- Because it was mugged.
After an explosion at a French cheese factory... all that was left was De Brie
How did the hipster burn his tongue? -- He drank his coffee before it was cool.
What do you call a girl with an hourglass figure? -- A waist of time.
i thought my wife was joking when she said she was gunna leave me because i wouldn’t stop singing “im a believer” but then i saw her face
6:30 is the best time on a clock... hands down.
New Teslas don't come with a new car smell they come with an Elon Musk
What is the longest word in the English Dictionary? Smiles because there is a mile between the first letter and the last
what did the banana say to the banana
u look a-pealing
My brother once froze a dollar in a block of ice. I called it "cold hard cash."
The furniture store keeps calling me back... But all I wanted was that one nightstand.
